


Teacher’s Pet

by snapesbabygirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29659719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapesbabygirl/pseuds/snapesbabygirl
Summary: He was the darkness, you were... well, also the darkness.You are a Slytherin in your sixth year at Hogwarts and Professor Snape is and have always been your hopeless crush. This year you feel like something in his eyes changes when he looks at you. Is it just you overthinking or does he actually feel the same?
Relationships: Severus Snape/ You, Severus Snape/Reader, Teacher/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	1. After Summer

You were always a bit of a loner, but you didn't mind. You enjoyed the piece and quiet in your own thoughts where no one could judge you. 

George and Fred always made fun of you for getting lost in your head when you were supposed to be social and interact with others. You never really understood why people liked you in the first place. You didn't smile a lot, you had a hot temper and when you spoke it was mostly sarcasm coming out of your mouth. You had a very hard time understanding other people's emotions so things you said usually came off as very rude. Like last week when you looked Fred dead in the eye and told him that the shade of pink he was wearing as a shirt made him look like a pig with a ginger wig. 

He laughed it off of course. Everyone in the Weasley family were used to your brutal honesty by now, since you've lived with them for the past two and a half years. 

Your biological parents passed away in an accident for a couple of years back (they were sent away by the Ministry of Magic on a secret mission in the muggle-world) and you were pretty much on your own til the Weasleys took you in, fed you and gave you a home with a bed to sleep in. 

You couldn't be more grateful for them and everything they've done for you. 

As a Slytherin most people saw as the worst kind of person, but you couldn't care less about other peoples business. You had always thought that such things as "blood-status" was ridiculous and people who actually believed that you can be "more" or "less" witch or wizard because of that were embarrassing.

You followed your fellow Slytherins out of the common room into the great hall to watch the sorting hat ceremony for the new first year students.

 _How are they so tiny?_ , you thought to yourself as you looked up and locked your brown eyes with a set of dark ones.

_Well... shit._

You had always found him so mysterious, so intimidating and yet so attractive. The memory of seeing him for the first time in potions class when you were in your first grade was very strong. Now you were in your sixth and you still felt butterflies in your stomach whenever you saw him. 

Professor Snape.

He liked you since you were a good student and potions happened to be your favourite subject but not just because of him, but because you liked the feeling of making something from scratch that's entirely your own. 

"Well hello there, Y/N"

The familiar voice that came from your right side made you jump and give out a little squeak.

"For Merlins sake, Fred!"

You tried to give him the stare of death but his smile made it hard to stay mad at him.

"What were you daydreaming about this time, sis?"

Another familiar voice from your left made you jump again. George Weasley. 

"Oh nothing... just about how I will survive another year with you two idiots popping out of nowhere.", you rolled your eyes.

"Well you're in a mood", Fred said smiling. "What else is new?"

"Fred, I swear to Merlin if you don't get to your point I'll..."

"Shhhh!", George interrupted and slipped a small piece of paper over to you. "Come to the Gryffindor common room tomorrow night for study club"

You couldn't help but smile. "Study-club" was in fact not studying at all. You, the twins and a couple of friends had a tradition every year to basically sneak out, drink firewhiskey and chainsmoke.

You opened the little note.

"You bring the smokes, we bring the whiskey. 8 o'clock."  
-F and G

They left the Slytherin table and got back to the Gryffindors as Hermione was waving at you. She was one of the very few people that you could actually stand. You waved back and smiled at her but your eyes kept getting drawn back to the teachers table where Professor Snape was looking at you.

He looked irritated. 

Annoyed.

You took a bite of your food and decided to break the eye contact. Though you could still feel his eyes on you for the rest of the night.

~

You put the cigarette down in the ashtray as you inhaled the smoke. 

"So he was really staring at you, huh?", Evelin said. She was sitting on the green couch at the fireplace and sketched in her drawing pad. 

Evelin had been your best friend (and only friend in the Slytherin house) since the very first year that started off by you two sharing the same dormroom. 

"I'm really sorry that I wasn't there, I was... busy" she said smiling and looked down. 

"Busy hooking up with that golden boy Diggory of yours.", you mumbled as you lit another cigarette. 

"Y/N!", she shouted and started blushing and smiling with her blue eyes trying to look all innocent. She really deserved the world. 

You rolled your eyes and took another puff. You didn't like him. Well... you didn't like most people for starters but this was different. He was narcissistic and and self centred but for Evelins sake you tried not to show it too much. She seemed really happy with him and you just didn't want her to get hurt by some Hufflepuff with a huge ego.

"At least I haven't been crushing on a teacher for the last six years." 

You threw a pillow in her face before she even got the chance to laugh.


	2. First Day

_Fuck..._

_Of course I'm late to my first class_ , you thought as you practically threw yourself out of the bed, stumbled down the stairs and ran through the hallway.

_Why did Evelin had to sneak off to pretty boy Diggory in the middle of the night?_

Your first class was potions and you were not happy about it, not because you didn't look forward to seeing Professor Snape, but because you looked like literal shit and you didn't want him to see you like this. 

_He's your teacher, Y/N! Get it together for Merlins sake!_

You finally reached the potions classroom and confirmed that you were 7 minutes late. You opened the heavy door.

"I'm so sorry Professor!", you said and quickly walked over to your seat next to Evelin. 

Your heart skipped a beat when you met his dark eyes. He tilted his head to the right, slightly raised his left eyebrow, crossed his arms and walked over to your table.

"I'm so sorry Professor.", you repeated, not breaking eye contact. You studied every inch of his appearance and tried to memorise every detail, from his black, shiny hair down to his crooked nose. You had always liked his hair. "it won't happened again, I oversl-"

"Detention. My office. Seven o'clock.", he said slowly as he interrupted your lame excuse and walked away. You didn't realise that you've held your breath til he was gone. You looked over at Evelin who had the biggest grin on her face.

"What's so bloody funny?", you muttered and gave her the side eye. 

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to wake you, but isn't this a bit exiting? Now you can get some alone time with Profes-"

"Shhh!", you interrupted "the whole class can hear you!"

"No they can't! You don't have to be so paranoid all the time.", she whispered back and put water in the cauldron, turned on the heat and then proceeded to Bruise a Peppermint Flower heads with a mortar and pestle and sprinkled it into the water.

"What are we making?", you asked her.

"If miss Y/L/N had been here in time, you would know exactly what to do."

Your whole body froze as you realised Professor Snape was standing right behind you. 

_Fuck._

The class went on as usual, you and Evelin were almost the fastest pair to be done with the Amortentia potion (which by the way was really impressive considering that you were the last pair to start). Amortentia smelled different to everyone depending on what the person was attracted to.

Professor Snape actually seemed quite happy about it (and by happy, you mean that he was not giving you his usual look of despise) til he was about to smell the potion. He quickly backed away from the thing and gave you a puzzled look.

He left without a word.

_Why is he acting so strange?_

You were about to say something about it to Evelin as a crumpled paper hit you in the forehead. You immediately stood up to find the person responsible and met two pairs of brown eyes making sad faces. You opened the paper from the Weasley twins.

"No study night for you?:("- F and G.

You slowly shook your head.

~

The day passed on as usual, at lunch you spotted Hermione making her way into the great hall so you ran up to her and gave her a tight hug. 

"I heard that you got detention with Professor Snape", she said with compassion.

"Yeah, it's really a bummer."

You looked over at the teacher table where Professor Snape usually sat. Of course you were a bit sad that you missed Study-club, but you actually were quite excited about detention so you could be alone with him. 

You sat down next to Evelin at the Slytherin table who was to busy with pretty-boy-Diggory that she didn't even notice that you were there, but you didn't really mind. You picked up one of your books and started to read. 

A few moments later she got up, gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran off to the bathroom.

_Fucking great, now I'm alone with him. You know what? Just pretend to read and maybe he'll stay quiet._

"Oh, hey, Y/N!", Cedric said with a smile.

"Diggory", you nodded and made sure you did not lift your head to meet his eyes.

"So... how are things going?"

"Just great" you answered with a straight tone. You figured that if you seemed boring enough he would stop bothering you. You were very wrong.

"May I ask you something?"

"No", you replied just to see his reaction. He frowned. "For Merlins sake, Diggory, it was a joke. Ask me anything."

It wasn't really a joke. You actually had no interest whatsoever to have a dry conversation with him.

"Oh... Y/N out of all people at this school, why am I the one you decided to hate?"

"Bold of you to assume that you're the only person I hate.", you said with a challenging tone that you immediately regretted. This was your problem, you never chose your words with care and you couldn't possibly think before you spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Cedric. I didn't mean to sound so rude", you said after a couple of seconds in silence "As you can tell, I'm terrible at sugar coating things."

"Hard to miss", his tone was harsh, but he still managed to smile.

You wondered how he did it. What was his secret?

"I don't hate you. I don't necessarily like you either... it's just that...", You buried your hands in your face and took a deep breath "What I hate is the thought of you treating her badly." 

He wouldn't understand even if you tried to explain it to him, she was like family to you. Before the Weasleys took you in, you had nothing and no one except her.

You looked him straight in the eyes now. He seemed uncomfortable. 

"I would never hurt her. She's my everything, not just some silly flirt." There was no doubt in the way he said it but you still couldn't bring yourself to believe him. Don't have expectations and you'll never get disappointed, so to say.

Before you got a chance to respond, Evelin came out of the bathroom, took a seat next to you and gave you a warm hug. 

"I'm going out for a smoke", you told her.

"I'll see you later", she smiled at you.

~ 

_I have to get out of here._

You ran through the hallway with your heart beating out of your cheats. The feeling of not being able to breathe was growing bigger and bigger and your breathing got heavier. 

You couldn't keep going any longer so you crawled yourself up against the wall and tried to calm down.

There was no one nearby.

"It's okay, you're okay", you whispered to yourself. It was not helping. 

It felt like you were going to throw up. Or die. Or maybe both. Why did this need to happened right now? It felt like it was going on for hours on end, but suddenly, a pair of big hands was pulling yours away yours from your face.

"You're shaking... look at me."

_Fuck_

You knew exactly who that voice belonged to. You looked up at Professor Snape as he handed you a small bottle of glass filled with a blue liquid. "Drink up" 

Without hesitation you grabbed the bottle, tilted your head back and let the liquid go into your mouth. It tasted almost like bitter vanilla with a tint of lavender. It was not good.

"Now swallow."

You did as he said. Almost immediately you could feel your muscles relax, your dizziness fade away and you could finally breathe again. Calming Draught. Of course it was Calming Draught.

Snape grabbed your arm and helped you back up on your feet and for a moment, you caught a glimpse of worry in his eyes. 

"Thank you, Professor.", you said and tried to make eye contact, but he refused and within seconds the worry in his eyes were gone. He had turned into stone again.

"Let's not ever speak of this again."

He left you standing in the hallway, squeezing your hand tight around the bottle of glass. So tight that it almost broke.


	3. Detention

The closer it got to 7 o'clock the more anxious you felt. This was not the first time you were going to have detention with Professor Snape, but it was the first time that you'd have detention alone with him.

You made the decision to not tell Evelin about the incident with Professor Snape in the hallway earlier the same day. Something about the occasion just felt... private somehow? You couldn't explain it. The way he approached you, it was almost intimate and you just knew she wouldn't shut up about it.

Dinner was served but you didn't have any apatite. All you could think about was his hands. They were cold but not in an uncomfortable icy way, but more cool and soft. It was comforting, almost.

_Merlin... I shouldn't be thinking of him in this way._

You got up from your table and decided to go outside to get some fresh air. It was too hot inside and you needed to be alone for a little while, just to clear your thoughts.

You went to the empty yard and sat down against the cold brickwall. From here no one could see you from any window nor any angle. You smirked and picked up you packet of cigarettes. 

"Incendio", you whispered.

You had been going to this specific spot for years. This was the only place where McGonagall never found and busted you, so you'd made sure that you always went alone so no one could ruin it for you.

George was the only exception.

~

About an hour later you knocked on Professor Snapes office door. You'd promised yourself to stay quiet and not getting into anymore trouble this time.

_I'll just shut up the entire night and NOT leave any snarky comments. Yeah... it can't be that hard, I can do that._

It was silent for a few moments. You almost started to wonder if he was going to show up at all but then the door opened.

He was a very tall man. When you were younger you used to be intimidated by him -you still were- but at the same time you wanted his approval (you still did). It was really confusing, your feelings for him. 

"This way", he said slowly, barley giving you a glance. "You are going to sort the books in my bookshelf." 

He went ahead of you and led you into his office.

"Alphabetical order."

The bookshelf in front of you must have been two times Professor Snapes height and just as wide, this would take hours. 5 minutes in and you had already decided to break your promise. You couldn't stay quiet anymore.

"Oh come on, Professor!" You turned around and looked at him with desperation. "Sorting books? Can't I do literally anything else?"

And for a moment he was quiet.

_Shit_

"What makes you think that you can disobey me?" He moved dangerously close to you, took your chin in a tight grip and tilted your head upward, forcing you to look him straight in the eye. His fingers were cold, just like his whole presence, but not in a comforting way anymore. 

_Fuck_

_Why am I like this?_

"Now stop being a little brat and start working." He let go of your face with a final squeeze and you were absolutely speechless. His fingers had left little marks on your chin.

"Oh... okay, Professor.", you mumbled and did as you were told, and even though you stayed quiet for the rest of the night you were screaming on the inside. 

~

You woke up in your dorm room the next day. It was a Saturday but you didn't feel like doing anything, you could just think of the things that happened last night. The way he spoke to you, the way he touched you. 

You took your hand and placed it to your chin, the way he had, but it felt far from the same.

"You may go now.", was the exact words he used when the clock had passed midnight.

"I'm not finished.", you said even though you were exhausted. You hated leaving a project unfinished.

"Do I have to repeat myself?", he replied without looking up from his desk. You gave in and left.

Evelin was gone, you hadn't seen her since your last lesson yesterday and when you came to your dorm room last night she wasn't there. 

You searched for your pack of cigarettes and when you found them you lit one. 

Eventually, you decided to go down to the great hall for breakfast. You were pretty much in your own thoughts so the fact that you walked straight into someone caught you by surprise. You fell to the stone cold floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Y/N!"

You looked up to see a face with dark hair and round glasses. 

"Well if it isn't the chosen one", you smirked.

"I have told you to stop calling me that.", Harry said and helped you up "are you on your way to breakfast?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"Hermione wanted a word with you earlier, is was something about Hogsmeade.. at least I think so, I don't really recall. Well I better get going! Bye then!"

That boy was always on his way to something. Since he was best friends with Hermione and Ron (who's basically your brother) Harry had always been around, but you didn't know him that well. You entered the great hall to the sight of Cedric and Evelin snuggling.

_I’m so fucking sick of this._

You spotted Hermione and Ron at the Gryffindor table and decided to sit there instead, even if it wasn't allowed. You were in a really bad mood today. 

"Hey, Y/N!", Ron said with a mouth full of food and you gave him a smack in the head. "Auch! What the bloody hell was that for?!"

"Table manners for Merlins sake, Ron! It's disgusting!"

"Okay, mom! What has gotten your wand in a knot?", he said annoyed.

"Shut up.", you answered.

"No, you shut up.", he muttered.

"Can you two stop fighting please? Y/N, do you want to come with me to Hogsmeade later? I've got to buy some new quills.", Hermione said without looking up from the book she was reading. It had a green cover.

"Yeah, sure.", you answered and looked back at Evelin who hadn't noticed that you sat at the Gryffindor's table.

Hogsmeade was uneventful. About an hour after you had your breakfast you were inside Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop with Hermione. It always smelled the same in there; inc, coffee and old wood. After she was done with her errands you went to The Three Broomsticks to get some butterbeer before you decided head back to the school. 

You spent the rest of the weekend (mostly by yourself) studying and catching up in History of Magic, but you couldn't stop thinking about him and his touch. Even though you liked being alone you'd never felt so lonely in your entire life.


	4. Alihotsy Draught

The weeks passed slowly. As Evelin and Cedric grew tighter you and Evelin grew apart. Professor Snape had barley looked at you and maybe it was for the better. At least that was what you were trying to convince yourself. You had mostly spent your time hanging out with the twins or studying alone, and you had for once not gotten into any trouble. You wasn't feeling quite like yourself lately and you didn't understand why.

Some good news was that Halloween was around the corner so you, George and Fred spend your lunchbreak on planning the yearly Halloweenparty in the Gryffindor common room. 

"No fucking Veritaserum this year, that's for sure.", you said as you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette and passed it to Fred.

"Oh, come on it wasn't that bad" Fred took a puff and handed it over to George.

"Three people ended up crying last year, Freddie. It was pretty bad.", you answered.

"What is our other options then?", George asked and handed the cigarette back to you. He had a list in front of him of the things you needed to get. "We can't just drink firewiskey."

"Befuddlement Draught?", Fred proposed.

"Confusing Concoction?", George submitted.

"Babbling Bevage?"

"Maybe some Alihotsy Draught?", you suggested. 

"Wicked!", they both said at the same time and George wrote it down on the list. 

"You know how to make that one, right?", Fred asked.

"I know everything, dear Fred.", you answered and put the cigarette down. "I just need to get my hands on the ingredients." 

"You can barley tell she's in Slytherin.", George whispered to Fred who laughed.

You smacked them both in the head.

~

It was not as easy as you thought it would be. The main ingredient in Alihotsy Draught was Alihotsy leaves and you had no idea where to find them, but you'd rather throw yourself to the dragons than give up. You had no other option but to steal some from the potions classroom so you made up a plan to sneak off in the night and bring the Marauders Map for safety. 

Evelin slept in her own bed for once and of course it was the night when you were planning on going down to the potions classroom. Normally you would've just picked another night but since the day after tomorrow was Halloween you just wanted to be over with.

_Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait til she falls asleep._

What had happened to you two? You used to be so close and tell each other everything.

A few hours later you successfully snuck out of the dorm and common room without getting caught. You could barely believe your luck. Now you stood outside the hallway and picked up your wand and the Marauders Map and whispered the magic words.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." 

It quickly went from a blank piece of paper to a map of the whole castle and where every student, teacher and ghost was located. 

You snuck down the hallway and everything went fine til the ghost Peeves popped up on the map and was coming your way.

_Fuck fuck shit fuck I hate that annoying snitch!_

You quickly turned off to another corridor, pressed yourself up against the wall and pretty much held your breath til you were sure he was gone. He didn't see you and you continued your little trip to the potions classroom. 

When you finally got there the door was locked. You disappointed almost turned around and went back to your dorm room when you remembered that you had a wand and felt a tiny bit dumb.

_This is why I'm not in Ravenclaw._

"Alohomora", you whispered and the door opened. You went inside the classroom and just as you expected, you found the Alihotsy leaves in a jar of glass. Now for the fun part.

You picked up a cauldron and filled it with water and let it simmer, then you chopped up the Alihotsy leaves and added them into the water. After that you just let them steep and in the main time you looked around for some Glumbumble fluid (antidote to Alihotsy Draugh) just in case things went south. 

After 10 minutes you strained the potion and put it into a phial. You cleaned up after yourself while it was cooling down and by now it looked like you'd never been there in the first place. It was a small phial and you were wearing a big hoodie so it could easily fit in your bra without it looking suspicious.

You took your wand and the Marauders Map and went back to the hallway. In your loneliness you started to think about which house you would be in if not Slytherin. You remembered your sorting ceremony clearly. The hat took its time debating on whether it was going to put you in Gryffindor or Slytherin. It took almost 7 minutes before it made its decision and you (obviously) ended up in Slytherin, but how would your life look like if you were in Gryffindor instead?

You did that thing again were you got so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even notice Professor Snapes footprints showing up on the map before it was to late to hide. The only thing you had time for was to put the map away and so you did. 

_What the hell am I going to say?_

"What's a student doing up past bedtime?", he said and grabbed your arm. "Miss Y/L/N, of course it's you."

"Nothing Professor", you said as he looked down at you and made eye contact. He stood very close to you and you could feel your heart beat faster. "I couldn't sleep so I was sitting in the common room and read a book but then I heard a weird noise from the hallway so I thought-"

He interrupted you by sighting. "You're a terrible liar" 

Was that a smirk? Was mean old grumpy Professor Snape _smirking_ at your (in your opinion) very much creative excuse? You could barley believe it.

"Let's go", he said and let go of your arm and put it behind your back instead.

"Where?", you said thinking that you most likely had to go out to the forbidden forest to do something terrifying. 

"Back to your dorm, stupid girl."

"No punishment?!", you said shocked.

"Trust me, there will be, just not tonight."

The 5 minute walk to your dorm was silent, but it didn't matter because all you could think of was his hand against your back. It was probably there so you wouldn't run away... but it felt nice. You felt protected. 

He dropped you off and before you went to bed you picked up the Marauders Map and whispered "Mischief managed". You fell asleep almost immediately after that.

~

"What were you up to last night?", was the first thing Evelin said to you in the morning. 

_Fuck. She must've heard me._

"I don't know what you're talking about.", you lied.

"Yes you do! I heard you sneak out at 2 and come back a couple of hours later.", Evelin argued.

"It's none of your business.", you then answered. You could've just told her the truth on the spot, but you didn't feel like it. 

"You were with him weren't you?!", she gasped "DID YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR TEACHER Y/N Y/L/N?"

"Shut up! No I didn't!", you could feel your face getting hot "Don't be stupid, he wouldn't do that."

"Oh trust me he would!", Evelin teased. You got up to put you clothes on and went to brush your teeth. 

"Look...", Evelin said and you already knew where this conversation was going. "I know that you're mad at me and I know that I've not been a great friend to you lately."

"Go on.", you said. She was completely right, you were mad at her. You were pissed actually.

"I shouldn't be letting some stupid boy get in between our friendship, and I'm sorry."

"That's all I needed to hear.", you answered. 

And just like that you were best friends again and walked down to the Great Hall holding hands and laughing like nothing had ever happened. You told her about the Alihotsy Draught and that you needed someone to test it before the party. 

"I might just know who you're looking for.", she said smiling.


	5. Halloween

"I'm about to loose my fucking shit at you two!"

The twins looked at each other like they'd seen a Dementor, and why wouldn't they? You were absolutely furious with them.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?", Ron came running down the stairs to the Gryffindor Common room.

"And you", you said and gave him a dark look that gave the poor boy chills "Shut up and go somewhere else."

"Okay Y/N.", he said immediately and ran back up. 

You took a deep breath and turned back to the twins.  
"Could you be so kind and explain to me why you thought this was a good idea?" You said and pointed at the decorations that was so horrible you could faint.

"Come on, Y/N", George said.

"Yeah... it's not that bad.", Fred filled in.

"Not that bad? _Not that bad?_ It's hideous!", you walked around in circles and massaged your temples.

"Calm down Y/N.", Hermione said "Im going down to Hogsmeade later today to do some errands, I'll get new decorations there."

"Do you want me to come with you?", you asked her.

"Oh, there's no need for that. I was planning on going with Harry.", she smiled at you. 

"I can't thank you enough, Hermione.", you said and gave her the money she needed.

"I was going either way, no need to thank me."

~

It turned out that Cedric was the person Evelin referred to when she said she knew someone who would be perfect to try the potion. You sat down on Evelins bed in your dorm room and shared a cigarette with her.

"Where did you even get ahold of this?", Cedric wondered and you gave him an irritated look. "Right, sorry, no questions."

"Are you ready?", you asked and handed him a glass of water with just a drop of the potion in it. He nodded and drank it. 

"Hmm, it tastes a bit like grass. It's really not that bad.", he said and smacked his tongue. "What will happened to me it the potion fails?"

"That's a pretty fucking offensive thing to assume, I've never failed a potion." He always looked so shocked when you snapped at him like that. You guessed he wasn't used to your mood swings and anger issues but you couldn't blame him. 

"What she means is that we don't really know what would happened, I mean it looks fine to me.", Evelin answered for you.

"What?!", Cedric said "You don't think you could've-"

He got interrupted by his own coughing and then it started. He bursted out in hysterical laughter. He laid down on the bed and rolled round and laughed so hard tears started to stream down his face. Evelin started to laugh with him. This kept going for about 5 minutes and then he stopped.

"Merlins beard... I haven't laughed that hard in ages."

You and Evelin looked each other and you couldn't help but smile.

"Tonight is going to be amazing.", Evelin said.

~

After dinner you and Evelin went to your dorm room to get ready for the night. You did your base makeup and went with a dark eyeshadow look and black lipstick. You had found candies at a small shop that made you grow fangs and it was just to perfect. You decided to wear a black dress with a bunch of necklaces, rings and a small tiara and now you looked like a terrifying vampire princess. You didn't need the makeup nor the fangs to be terrifying though, you were a natural at that part.

_Perfect. Now people may leave me alone._

You had always intimidated people, but for some reason they were still drawn to you and you couldn't possibly understand why. You guessed that you were kind of beautiful, but not in that obvious drop dead gorgeous way. Not like Evelin. 

You looked yourself in the mirror and all you could think of was how Professor Snape would see you.

Evelin opened the bathroom door and interrupted your thoughts.

"Do I look okay?", she said and ran her fingers through hair. She was wearing a tight pink dress with a pair of gorgeous white angel wings, pink eyeshadow and lipgloss. 

"You look amazing."

She turned around, looked you up and down and almost started laughing.

"Is something wrong with my costume?", you asked annoyed.

"No, no! It's just that we're literally opposites to each other. See?"

You looked in the mirror and her reflection was smiling at you. She was not wrong.

"Ready to go?", you asked her.

She nodded and you went up to the Gryffindor common room together. The party had already started and she almost immediately found Cedric and made out with him. The twins quickly grabbed you and forced you in a game of truth or dare. 

The people participating in the game was you, the twins, Harry, Ron, Oliver, Lee and eventually Cedric and Evelin joined. You and Evelin was the only Slytherins there and some gave you nasty looks because of it. People could be so judgmental towards you Slytherins and always assume that you're mean and only care about blood status.

Fred put his wand in the middle of the circle and spun it. It landed on Cedric. 

"Truth or dare, Diggory?"

"Dare", he smirked. 

"Kiss the prettiest person here."

He didn't hesitate when he kissed Evelin and everyone started whistling and cheering. Everyone except Harry. He couldn't even look at them.

_Shit._

_He's in love with her._

The game continued and the wand landed Lee.

"Truth or dare, Jordan?", Cedric asked.

"Truth"

"Who is the scariest person you've ever met?"

He immediately looked at you as well as everyone else.

"Really?", you said and crossed your arms.

"I mean I kind of agree, you can be really terrifying Y/N.", Ron said. 

"Oh shut up! I'm not terrifying, am I?" Everyone was quiet. 

"Haven't you noticed that people never pick on you? There is a reason for that.", Evelin said. You knew that people being scared of you was a bad thing, but it didn't feel bad. You felt kind of powerful.

"You also have that look in your eyes sometimes. It's like you want to murder someone.", Cedric filled in.

"Well can you blame me? It's actually very hard not to, especially with you around." It was quiet for a few seconds and then everyone bursted out in laughter and the game continued.

George was dared to drink Alihotsy Draught, Evelin told everyone her most embarrassing memory and Oliver had 3 shots of firewiskey before it was your turn.

"Y/N, truth or dare?", Oliver asked.

"Truth", you smiled. You vision had gotten a bit blurry from all the firewiskey and you felt warm and fuzzy all over.

"What's your type in guys? Or girls if you swing that way?"

"Older.", Evelin giggled.

_What the hell?_

"Shut up.", you said. 

"What? It's true!" 

You started to sweat and your face got hot. What if she accidentally told them about Snape?

"I'm done playing this game.", you said and got up.

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that!"

She was drunk. You knew she was drunk but you still felt betrayed. 

"I think you need to drink some water.", Cedric said and handed her a glass that she obediently swept. He kissed her on the cheek and Harry gave them a dark look. Jealousy. He was jealous but not of Cedric, he was jealous of Evelin.

You needed to be alone for a little while so you went outside and lit a cigarette. It was a very beautiful night, the sky was clear and the stars were bright. You heard footsteps behind you so you turned around and saw Harry coming your way. His glasses were slightly tilted in the wrong direction.

"Want one?", you asked but you already knew the answer.

"No, thanks." He took a few steps forward and was now standing beside you and looked at the stars.

"I know it's not my business, but I know what it's like.", you said. 

"What are you talking about?", he asked.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about.", you said and raised an eyebrow. "Loving someone that you can't have. It hurts. Especially if it's someone like Cedric."

To your surprise he wasn't even denying it. Harry opened up to you about his feelings for him and how angry and jealous he had been with Evelin.

"I'm not such a big fan of her right now either.", you said and threw the cigarette away. 

"Y/N, what happened in there?", Harry asked.

"I know that you just opened up to me and shit but I'm not going to do the same towards you.", you said. "I need to figure this out myself."

"Just making sure that you're okay.", he shrugged his shoulders and fixed his glasses.

"Thank you, Harry, I appreciate that."

~

After way too much firewiskey most people had fallen asleep and the rest was just enjoying each other's company. Your vision was blurry and your face was hot and then you had the worst idea of the century. 

You left the Gryffindor common room, went out to the corridor and started walking towards his office. You knew for a fact that the door next to it lead to his bedroom and you were way too drunk to stop yourself.

The clock must had passed 3 or 4 when you knocked at Professor Snapes bedroom door. Was he even awake at this hour? Probably not. He simply had to get up, you thought.

_Fuck this is a bad idea._

But you didn't care. You didn't care at all. The door opened, and there he was. 

"Hi, Professor.", you giggled and leaned against the wall for support.

"What are you doing?" He didn't look like he had just woken up, he must've already been awake.

"I just... I just wanted to see you. May I come in?"

You didn't wait for an answer and he didn't try to stop you. His room was pretty much what you would expect it to be. It was messy but in an organised way with books, coffee cups and paper all over. There was a small fire in the fireplace and cigarettes in the ashtray. 

"You're drunk.", he said and sighed.

"No", you lied. He went up close to you and grabbed your chin just like he'd done a couple of weeks ago when you had detention, but it was different this time. His hand was warm.

"Anyone could smell the firewiskey on you, stupid girl." He sounded harsh, but all you could think of was how much you wanted him. You took your hand over his and placed it on your cheek instead and closed your eyes.

"This is nice.", you said sleepy and then everything went black.


	6. Stupid Girl

_Fuck._

_Fuck fuck fuck what the fuck have I done?!_

You woke up in a room you didn't recognise, in a bed that definitely wasn't yours. It smelled like inc, coffee, smoke and old paper in there. The headache hit you like a wall and your mouth was dry. A clock was ticking somewhere which did not make your pounding head feel any better. Next to the bed on the nightstand stood a big glass of water and you didn't hesitate to drink it.

"Getting comfortable, I see."

Snape was leaning against the door that lead to his office. You immediately got up.

"I am so sorry, Professor Snape.", you said as you started collecting your things.

"For Merlins sake Y/N, just call me Severus. Considering that you've already stolen my bed you might as well use my first name. For your information, the couch was very uncomfortable."

You quickly got irritated at his sarcasm. Did he enjoy humiliating you or something? He made eye contact with you.

_This is so fucking embarrassing, I just want to avada kedavra myself._

"I wouldn't recommend that." Your heart dropped as he said those words. Could he read minds? Did he have the power of Legilimency? This just made everything worse.

"I am incredibly sorry, this will never happened again." You made the mistake of trying to get out of the room as quickly as possible and on top of all the embarrassment you tripped and fell right in front of him.

_Dear Merlin, please just let me die._

He made an approach to help you up but you just mumbled an "I got it" and then practically ran out of the room.

~

"If it isn't the walk of shame, Y/N. Walk. Of. Shame." Evelin snapped her fingers between the last three words.

You sat down on your bed and massaged your temples. 

"Shut up.", you said and went into the bathroom to brush your teeth and take off yesterday's makeup. "Why isn't pretty-boy-Diggory here?"

"Don't you try to change the subject! This is not about me.", she said and sat down next to you on the bed when you came back. "Where were you last night? Or more specific: who was inside of you last night?" 

"I'm begging you, please shut up.", you needed a cigarette to clear your mind. Thank god you hadn't forgotten anything in Snapes room, or were you supposed to call him Severus now? You wasn't quite sure if he had been sarcastic or not. 

You told her everything and afterwards you buried your face in your hands and couldn't even bring yourself look at her.

"Wait, you fell in front of him?", she was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face at this point. 

"You're not making me feel better.", you lit another cigarette. You always chainsmoked when you were stressed.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be laughing it's just... it's just so fucking funny", she dried her tears with the hoodie she was wearing. "Do you want go get some breakfast? If we hurry we might make it."

"Fine.", you said "but if we see him there we're leaving."

"Deal."

You had a sandwich, some pumpkin juice and a chocolate muffin for breakfast even if you weren't very hungry. You and Evelin were on your way back to your dorms to shower when something stopped you.

Just a few meters in front of you you saw Hermione crash into a boy with blonde hair and a middle part. You knew who he was since the whole Weasley family absolutely hated the Malfoys. You were going to run and help Hermione up as you heard Malfoy calling her the most disgusting thing.

"Watch where you're going, filthy Mudblood!"

Everyone around got quiet and stopped. Hermione collected her things and ran off and before Evelin had the chance to stop you or even react you did something very stupid. 

He was taller than you and probably stronger as well but you didn't hesitate when you approached him, grabbed his neck, pushed him down and dragged him with you outside. 

"What the hell are you doing? My father will hear about this!", he yelled.

"We'll see about that."

Eventually you let go and he fell to the grass as you pulled up your wand and pointed it at him. People had started to gather around you two and you could hear the twins cheer you on.

"Kill him Y/N!", George shouted.

"Yes, kill him!", Fred agreed.

You gave it a few seconds of thought before you decided what you wanted to do with him and then you came up with the perfect idea.

"Pullus!", you shouted and within a second Malfoy had turned into a chicken. Everyone except his friends laughed and so did you til you heard a voice that meant that the fun had come to an end.

"What is going on here? It that a student?!", Professor McGonagall asked. "Everybody, go inside! Y/N, go to Dumbledores office immediately!"

~

Normally you would've been disappointed at yourself for letting your anger control your actions, but not this time. This time you did something for someone that you cared about and you were not planning on apologising for it. 

With that being said, you didn't regret anything, not even being sent to the headmasters office. It was a very big room filled with all kinds of things like big paintings and curious instruments.

"Hello there, Miss Y/L/N. What do I owe this pleasure?", Headmaster Dumbledore said as he entered. You'd always liked him to a certain level, but sometimes it felt like he knew too much.

"I'm in trouble, Headmaster. McGonagall is on her way with Snape."

"Do you want to explain yourself before they get here?", he asked. 

"Yes", you said and cleared your throat. You had of course met Headmaster Dumbledore multiple times before, but you had never had an actual conversation with him. "that blonde kid, Draco Malfoy, called a friend of mine a mudblood which I didn't like very much."

"That's a very unpleasant thing to say. Now tell me, what did you do to end up in my office?"

"I maybe accidentally turned him into a chicken."

"Oh.", Dumbledore said as Professor Snape and McGonagall entered the room. "That's quite impressive."

"...but it can't go unpunished.", Severus Snape filled in. You couldn't look at him.

"Oh no, don't get me wrong, I agree, I just don't see why such creative thinking should lead to an unnecessarily hard punishment.", Dumbledore said and looked at Snape who stood beside you. "Though it is your student, Severus. You decide the consequences." 

"Then I say one month detention and 20 points from Slytherin."

"30 points?! No, please not 20!", you begged. 

"What do you think seems fair in this situation miss Y/L/N?", he said harshly.

"I don't care what happens to me, I just don't want everyone else to be punished because of my stupid actions.", you said looking him dead in the eye, you figured that he probably read your thoughts at that very moment.

"Fine", he said and rolled his eyes "two months detention starting tomorrow and 15 points from Slytherin and that's final."

You could never argue with that so you had no choice but to accept it.

"Of course we will have to send and owl to your guardians which are the Weasleys at the moment, I suppose?", Severus asked.

The way he said "at the moment" hurt. It was like he just waited for them to get sick of me and pass me on to the next family.

"Yes, I live with them but they aren't my legal guardians yet. The ministry have been taking their time with the request of officially making me a part of the family.", you answered.

"Is that so?", Dumbledore asked and you nodded for an answer. "You may leave now. Severus, will you let her stay in your office for a while just til things calm down."

You both started protesting but the Headmaster silenced you both by just raising his hand.

"It won't be long."

_Great._


	7. Boggart

_Just great_

You sat in Severus Snapes office in front of his desk. There was a small couch there too. 

_Did he sleep in that last night?_

You had a very blurry memory of him mentioning sleeping on the couch this morning but you could barley recall. The headache that you felt earlier today had faded away and all that was left was shame. You were still deeply embarrassed, and now you had to stay in his office til things "calmed down", whatever that meant.

"You brought this on yourself." He sat behind his desk and did paperwork. You crossed your arms and didn't answer.

"Oh, are we ignoring our Professors now? Very mature of you." He rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me? Are we going to talk maturity now? Was it mature of you to fucking mock me when I was already embarrassed as it was?", you got up and leaned over his desk. He sighted and looked up at you.

"Language.", he said slowly while making eye contact. "And yet again, you brought yourself in that situation."

"Oh, I apologise, _dad_.", you took a step back in frustration. You started to feel anxious. "Is it just me or is hot in here?" 

You walked around in circles. Your breathing got heavier and your palms got sweaty.

_No, no, no not again, I can't do this right now._

Severus stood up the second you sat down on the floor. You covered your face and started counting backwards from 10.

_10... 9... 8..._

You could feel his presence in front of you. Your ears were ringing and your face was hot. Of course this had to happened at the worst possible moment.

_7... 6... 5..._

He went down on his knee and put his hand on your shoulder. It was odd, but something about his touch brought you back to reality.

_4... 3... 2... 1..._

He opened and closed his mouth like he wanted to say something but didn't know how or what. You took a final deep breath.

"I'm fine.", you said. It wasn't a lie. Your breathing and heartbeat had slowed down and your ears stopped ringing. 

Snape got up and left you, only to come back a minute later with a glass of water. It was cold as ice. "Thank you" 

Snape watched you drink up and then he took your hand and helped you back on your feet.

"Why are you being nice to me, Professor?", you asked when he went back to his desk.

"I have told you that you can call me Severus."

"Oh, I thought you were joking.", you said slightly shocked.

"Do I look like the kind of person to make jokes in situations like that miss Y/L/N?", he raised his left eyebrow.

"First of all, yes you do, second of all, if I'm going to call you Severus you might as well just call me Y/N.", you said.

He rolled his eyes yet again but didn't protest.

"Can I say something?", you asked.

"Why bother asking? You just say anything that comes to mind either way.", he muttered. You got irritated and was about to say something rude back when you remembered that you would just prove his point.

"I just wanted to say that... I have a hard time apologising. And I also wanted to say that I'm sorry.", you avoided his eyes that was searching to meet yours.

"Only fools let their emotions control them. Never forget that."

That was the closest thing to forgiveness that you would get, so you just decided to let it go.

~ 

As soon as you got back to the Slytherin common room you expected nothing but pure revenge from your fellow Slytherins but to your surprise there was no snarky comments, no nasty looks, no nothing. They barley looked at you. 

You wanted to believe they just simply didn't care, but you were smarter than that. No way that Malfoy would let you off the hook that easily, but you'd rather die than be afraid of them. 

The day after at breakfast you were surrounded by a bunch of people that you'd never spoken to in your entire life that wanted to hear all about what happened the day before. People knew who you were now and you hated every second off it. 

The person that ended up saving you from the crowd was Hermione who came to tell you that you were an idiot which was pretty much a "thank you".

Evelin had gone back to spending every minute with Cedric Diggory and you continued to see Harry look at them in envy. You felt sorry for him, but you knew that there was nothing that you could do about it.

The weeks passed on as usual. School wasn't that interesting and detention with Snape wasn't very eventful. Today you had Defense Against The Dark Arts which was one of your favourite subjects. You entered the classroom as usual and sat next to Evelin and the twins as you noticed a big closet in the middle of the room.

"There we have the her!", Fred said.

"We almost started wondering if the snakes had got to you.", George said.

"Quiet, Class!", Professor Lupin said before you had a chance to respond. "Today you are going to learn how to deal with a Boggart. Can anyone tell me what a boggart looks like? Yes?"

He pointed at a girl behind you to answer the question.

"No one knows what a Boggart looks like. A Boggart is a shapeshifting creature that takes form of a persons worst fear."

"Brilliant!", he said "5 points to Gryffindor! The charm that repels a boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing." 

You had always liked Professor Remus Lupin, but you definitely didn't want to do this.

"Repeat after me.", he said "Riddikulus"

"Riddikulus", the class repeated.

"This class is ridiculous.", you mumbled and Evelin laughed.

"Who wants to go first? Fred Weasley! Come up here."

Fred got up from his chair and walked over to Professor Lupin who whispered something in his ear before he opened the closet. 

You felt like throwing up when George's dead body fell out of the it. Even though George sat right beside you, you grabbed his arm to make sure he was there. Fred got all pale and George wanted to go up and help his brother but you stopped him.

"He have to do this himself.", you whispered and George sat down. Eventually Fred managed to cast the charm and he seemed relieved when he reunited with his brother again at our table.

"Are you okay, Freddie?", George asked.

"Yeah", he answered with a smile but you could tell that he was a bit shaken up.

One by one in the class met their worst fear. Evelins Boggart was her grandmother yelling at her and Georges Boggart had been Freds dead body. You had almost started to hope that Professor Lupin had forgotten about you but then he called your name.

_Fuck._

Evelin gave you an encouraging smile when you got up and walked towards the closet. Your hands were shaking because you knew what was coming. Professor Lupin noticed and gave you a pat on the back and told you that everything was okay and that he would step in if it went too far.

He opened the closet and out of it stepped Arthur and Molly Weasley who had practically been your parents for several years now. They looked furious.

"We don't want you anymore.", Molly said and it felt like you were getting stabbed in the heart.

"Pack your bags and leave.", Arthur filled in.

"You can live on the streets for all we care."

"You don't deserve to be a part of this family."

"You don't deserve us."

They were getting up close to you, telling you that they'd never seen you as a daughter and that they wanted you to leave over and over again. It felt like it was going on for hours.

"Your wand, Y/N!", someone encouraged you. You grabbed your wand and pointed it towards them. 

"Riddikulus" 

It was barley a whisper. 

~

After class you needed to be alone for a while so you decided to skip lunch and go to sit down on your special spot at the brick wall where no one could see you. 

You lit a cigarette and the tears started to flow. You had always been a very silent crier and you made no sound. You just wanted to go home to the burrow. You missed Mollys hugs. You missed your bed. You had never felt this type of homesickness before. 

"I figured I would find you here.", a familiar voice appeared from your left. "You just disappeared."

George. 

You didn't answer and he didn't push you to, he just sat down next to you. 

"Are you okay?", he asked and that second something broke inside of you. You started sobbing like an idiot but he didn't make you feel bad because of it, he just held you in his arms and stroked your hair til you had no tears left. 

You hated crying in front of people. "Everything will be okay. I love you, sis."

"I- I love y-you too", you said as the tears had almost stopped flowing. "E-even if y-you're a fucking idiot."

"So I'm the idiot? Who was it who turned Draco Malfoy into a fucking chicken?"

"Shut up.", you said smiling with tears on your cheeks. George dried them off with his robe and then he made a joke about Dracos hair to make you laugh.

It worked.


	8. Sweet Lovely Revenge

Three days after the Boggart incident you got invited to watch a game of quidditch. It was Gryffindor against Ravenclaw so the twins, Harry and Oliver were all playing. You'd didn't find quidditch very amusing so you never bothered to learn the rules, you were mostly there because they wanted you too. 

It was very crowded that day so you could forget all about private space and on top of that was it freezing cold. 

_One hour. I'm here for one hour and then I’ll leave._

They were all so fast, you couldn't even keep up with what was happening. What was the point of watching a game where you couldn't even see the players.

All of a sudden you felt something cold and wet splash against neck and you turned around in a heartbeat and there you saw a boy (just a few years younger than yourself) who had spilled his drink all over you.

"What the fuck?!", you hit the empty cup out of his hand. He looked terrified. If you had a drink in your hand you would've most definitely thrown it at him but luckily for him your hands were empty. You stomped off towards the exit where, to your surprise, you saw Severus Snape guard the gate.

_Fuck._

"Hello Prof- Severus.", you said. He looked you up and down.

"What happened to you this time?"

"Some idiot spilled his drink all over me.", you said and crossed your arms. He raised his left eyebrow and smirked. SMIRKED. 

"Could barley tell.", he said. 

"You really do love when I'm miserable.", you sighed. "Can you let me through so I can go and change?"

"I would, but I really don't see how it benefits me breaking the rules.", he looked very pleased with himself.

"I'll owe you one.", you promised.

"Only this time, Y/N.", he said it like a warning and you smiled. You liked when he called you by your first name. 

~

The steaming hot water washed away all the stickiness from the sweet drink. When you felt completely clean you turned off the shower and put some new clothes on. You were definitely not planning on going back to the quidditch field but you were had nothing to do so you went back to the hallway to go out for a smoke. 

Suddenly, you could feel someone grab you by your hair and yank you into an empty classroom. 

"What the fuck?! Let me go!"

Strong hands was holding you down against a table. You knew who those hands belonged too without having to look. 

Draco Malfoy.

There was two other boys there too. 

"We should show her what happens to whores who think they can do as they want.", he said with a low voice. You spat him in the eye. Big mistake. He punched you with his fist and it hurt like a bitch but instead of showing emotions you laughed him in the face.

"Is that all you have? Come on! You can do better!", you encouraged. He looked very confused.

"She's fucking crazy.", the boy in the back mumbled and Draco tuned his head and told him to shut the fuck up. He hit you again and again til he felt like he was done and then they left. After that you couldn't move for what felt like hours. Everything on your body hurt.

"Stop being a little bitch!", you finally hissed to yourself. You moaned in pain when you got up and tears burned behind your eyelids but you refused to let them drop. You pressed down the door handle and went out to the hallway where a tall man with dark hair met your eyes from afar. It was Severus and he was absolutely furious when he saw what had happened to you. He got up close and you didn't need to say anything before he put his arm around your waist and helped you to his office.

"Why don't we go to Madame Pomfrey?", your voice was weak and shaky but you didn't care. 

"A bunch of kids got into an accident during the quidditch game.", he said. "And before you ask, no. None of your friends are hurt."

You nodded and he opened the door and sat you down on his desk. You made the mistake of turning your head and meeting the reflection of a bloody face in the mirror. You were about to say that it wasn't as bad as it looked, but then you started to think that maybe it was worse than you thought. 

He moved close to you with a damp towel in his hand and carefully started wiping the blood of your face. 

"I should kill them.", he said with such calm rage that you almost got scared. When he saw the look on your face he softened. "Politely, of course."

He took his hand and placed it on your cheek as a warm tear dropped from your eye. "Don't be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid.", you whispered. He pulled away his hand from your cheek and all you wanted him to do was to put it back, but he just continued to clean your face. When he was done with that he picked up a small jar with some sort of blue cream inside. 

"What is that?", you asked. 

"Bruisewort.", he answered and gently applied it on your damaged face while you studied his dark eyes. "Take your shirt off."

"Excuse me?", you widened your eyes.

"You heard me.", he sighed.

You did as you were told and slowly (since you were in pain) pulled your shirt over your head which revealed more bruises on your chest and arms. You never thought that you would show yourself half naked to Professor Snape but here you were. He started at your collarbone and went down too your ribs and after that, your arms. You couldn't help but to look at the way his hands gently touched you. He had nice hands. 

"I'm not made of glass.", you said, referring to him being so careful, and made eye contact. "I'm not going to break."

He rolled his eyes dramatically and continued to be just as gentle as before. You liked the feeling of his hands on your body.

"Severus?"

"Yes?", he said without looking up. 

"How does it work?", you asked. "The mind reading?"

"It's called Legilimency. 'Mind reading' is a muggle term.", he corrected like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "When I look a person in the eyes I hear their voice in my head and what they're thinking at the moment."

"So you can only read a person's mind while making eye contact?", you asked hopefully. 

"Yes.", he answered and noticed your relief. "Don’t get your hopes up, I already know that you're attracted to me." 

You could do nothing but stare at him while your face got extremely hot and most likely very red.

"What?! No, I'm not-" He silenced you by pressing his cold finger to your lips before you even had the chance to finish your sentence.

"Are you really going to look me in the eye and try lying to me?", he raised an eyebrow. "Stupid girl. Get dressed."

"Maybe I don't want to.", you said. He sighed and pressed his thumb, index and middle fingers against his the root of his nose.

"Don't be a brat.", Severus said irritated with your attitude.

"Merlins sake, Severus, I was joking.", you said and put your shirt on and noticed how all the bruises had disappeared. "Thank you."

You knew that you probably shouldn't, but you didn't feel like leaving. You wanted to stay with him. 

"Umm, Severus? Do you mind if I, maybe, could stay here tonight?", you tried to sound confident, but the truth was that your heart was beating out of your chest. 

"That would be inappropriate, don't you think?"

"I'll take the couch, obviously.", you rolled your eyes "I just don't feel very safe with going back to the other Slytherins just yet, you understand that don't you?"

He was quiet for a few moments til he finally said something that sounded relatively close to a "yes".

~

He didn’t lie before, the couch was very uncomfortable. You looked at the clock which had passed 1. He had spent the rest of the night working and you had read a book by the fireplace. Niether of you were much for having pointless conversations, you were just happy being in the same room as him. 

You didn't want to be alone in his cold and dark office, so you got up, brought your blanket and pillow with you and knocked on his door. He was still awake and was laying in his bed reading a newspaper.

"I'm cold.", you said.

"Get another blanket.", he responded. 

"I don't like the darkness.", you said.

"Turn on a light.", he responded.

"You're impossible.", you said and leaned against the doorframe. You were just wearing a oversized t-shirt and underwear.

He sighed, put the newspaper down and moved to the side. He then raised his arm and made a “come here” movement with his hand and you went to his bed and laid down next to him. You leaned your head against his hard chest as he laid a protective arm around you. 

Neither of you said anything. Maybe it was because there was nothing to say or maybe it was because you didn’t need to.


	9. Good Girl

You woke up in Severus room to the sun shining through the window. It had snowed last night and winter was clearly coming up. 

On the nightstand there was a note that said "I've left to do errands, I won't be back til tonight -SS"

You went into the small bathroom and found a red unopened toothbrush on the counter. You brushed your teeth and went to put your clothes on only to discover that your shirt was bloody from yesterday so you "borrowed" one of Severus black sweatshirts. It was way too big for you. You took off your bra and placed it under his pillow, just to keep things fair, and then you left.

~

"I'm going to fucking kill him.", Fred said, he was absolutely furious.

"How the hell _dare_ he touch you.", George was (if possible) even more mad after you told them about the incident with Draco Malfoy yesterday (well, you didn't tell them about how you slept in Severus Snapes room, but that's a whole different story). You still had some bruises left on your legs and chest but the ones on your face was completely gone. 

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, Y/N.", Evelin said with tears in her eyes. You, the twins, Cedric, Oliver and Evelin were all sitting in the Gryffindor common room.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry Y/N, they won't get away with this.", Oliver put his hand over yours and you were slightly shocked by the gesture.

"I can handle this myself", you said "it's fine."

"Come on Y/N, it's not fucking fine. We'll make sure that he pays for this.", Cedric said and they all agreed. You were surprised that they all cared so much.

"Thank you, I don't know what I would do without you", you said and looked at them one by one "even you, Cedric."

He looked up from playing with Evelins hand and smiled at you. 

"Y/N, are you actually saying something that's not purely despiteful to me?", he said jokingly.

"Don't flatter yourself, Diggory." You rolled your eyes. 

~

You had no idea what they did with Draco, but he didn't even dare to look at you nor your friends anymore. Severus wanted to get Draco Malfoy expelled from the school, but you wouldn't admit who hurt you (since you didn't want to be seen as a coward) so there was nothing he could do. Since the incident you’d always been on your guard when you were alone, and you hated yourself for letting it control your life. 

You made sure to wear a shirt that showed deep cleavage under your robes during potions class that day. You wanted Severus to pay attention to you since you hadn't spoken much lately. It worked. 

You had partnered up with Oliver Wood that also definitely noticed, but you didn't mind him. Actually, it was good that Oliver payed attention to you because you could clearly tell that Severus got very annoyed.

The class came to an end and everyone was about to leave when Severus stopped you. 

"Not so fast, miss Y/L/N.", he said. 

Evelin gave you an exited look before she headed out. When you two were alone in he flicked his wand and the door closed. 

"What is it?", you asked.

"You shall not speak without being spoken to, Y/N.", he said harshly and took a threatening step towards you. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Because I want to.", you said and crossed your arms over your chest. 

"Is that so?", he raised his eyebrow and tilted his head slightly to the side and then he went up close to you and grabbed your face. "The boys in this class looked at you like you were a piece of meat."

"Why do you care so much, Professor?", you smirked. Your faces were very close to each other.

"I don't want anyone to look at you in that way.", he said slowly and you felt butterflies in your stomach as you made eye contact. You couldn't stop yourself when you leaned in and kissed him. At first he took a step back and just stared at you, but then he placed his hand on the back of your head and kissed you passionately back. Your breathing got heavier as he pressed you up against the wall. His hand traveled lower down your body til it slipped inside your panties and he started pleasing you with his fingers. You gasped.

_Holy fuck_

"Is this okay?", he asked with a low voice. You nodded. "Use your words."

"Y-yes.", you mumbled.

"Yes, what?", he responded.

"Y-yes, I want this."

He chucked. "Good girl."

You didn’t dare to make any sound though it was very hard not to. You grabbed his hard arm as your breathing got heavier and a small moan accidentally slipped from your lips. It didn't take long for you to reach your climax and when you did he slowed down his movements but he didn't fully stop which made your whole body twitch. Afterwards your cheeks were rosy and your heart was pounding from the overstimulation. You had never felt like this before and he seemed very happy with himself.

"That certainly went quicker than I expected.", he smirked and went back to his desk. "I have another class in 5 minutes. You should leave."

Was he serious right now? Normally you would've argued with him for just sending you off, but you were way too drained and shocked to do so.

"Bye, Severus.", you said with a shaky voice and left.

"Bye, Y/N.", he didn't even look at you but you didn't care. You couldn't focus on any of your classes for the rest of the day, you were just thinking about him and the way he had touched you earlier. You wondered what would've happened if you'd decided to stay.

"Hello? Earth to Y/N?", Evelin was waving her hand in front of your face. "What is up with you today?"

You sat in the great hall for dinner and over at the teachers table you saw Severus who smirked at you. You were close enough to his seat for him to hear your conversation.

"What?", you asked.

"All day you have gone around with the biggest grin on you face."

"So?" You tried not to make eye contact with her.

"I'm not used to seeing you this happy, that's all. It's nice.", she smiled at you and you smiled back and then her eyes got stuck on something behind you, you turned around and there was Oliver.

"I'll leave you two alone", she winked at you and left.

_Fuck._

"Hey, Oliver.", you said and you could feel Severus eyes on both of you.

"Hey, Y/N... mind if I sit?" He nodded at the seat next to yours. 

"All yours", you said and he sat down. He seemed nervous.

"So... I've been meaning to ask you something.", he started and looked down at his hands. "Fuck... I'm not used to do these things. You know that Yule ball that's coming up?" He laughed awkwardly and you gave him a bored look.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, no, no, no, not him._

"If you don't get to your point I'll strangle you.", you said and Severus looked like he wanted to strangle him. 

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go with me?" He looked terrified. You had almost forgotten about the Yule ball and you really didn't want to go with him, but who were you supposed to go with if not him? You obviously couldn't go with Professor Snape and you kind of wanted to make him jealous. You waited a couple of seconds extra before you answered.

"Sure, I'll be your date."

"Brilliant!", he said with relief "I'll see you then."

You locked eyes with Severus who rolled his eyes dramatically. He was already jealous. Great.


	10. Yule ball

"I don't wanna fucking do this.", you groaned while getting dressed in your dorm. You had decided to wear a black short, tight dress with a long sleeves and a lot of necklaces and rings to go with it. It wasn't much of a Christmas outfit but you didn't really own any clothes that wasn’t black.

"Oh, come on!", Evelin yelled from the bathroom while doing her makeup. "It'll be fun!"

"No it won't! I don't even like Oliver in that way and we literally have nothing in common.", you said and joined her in the bathroom and started with your makeup.

"Sure you have!" She tried to sound encouraging.

"Are you serious? His whole personality is based off of quidditch and if you haven't noticed, I fucking hate quidditch.", you said while doing your brows.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that.", she answered.

"Sorry, Evelin, but it's the truth. I don't even understand the rules..."

"But it's so simple though!", she argued.

"No it's not. I know that there's a seeker that want to find the golden ball-"

"Golden ball? GOLDEN BALL? It's the golden snitch, you idiot!", she rolled her eyes and continued applying mascara to her eyelashes. She was wearing a light blue, gorgeous dress that matched her eyes perfectly. 

"Whatever.", you rolled your eyes as well and then both of you bursted out laughing.

"Oh! I almost forgot!", she said and went out of the bathroom and came back a minute letter with a tiny Christmas gift wrapped in golden paper in her hands. "Merry Christmas! Open it!"

Inside there was a ring with a green stone attached to it and a small snake twirling around it. It was really beautiful and made you feel a bit bad about your Christmas gift to her.

"Thank you so much, Evelin. It's beautiful.", you put the ring on. "I've got something for you too."

You went and picked up a packet of condoms and a bottle of firewiskey that you had forgotten to wrap.

"Y/N!", she started blushing when she saw what you had gotten her. 

"Just take it and shut up."

An hour later Cedric and Oliver met up with you outside of the Great Hall. 

"You look amazing", Cedric said to Evelin "Spinn around for me?"

She giggled and did as he told her to and right after he pulled her in for a kiss. "You're beautiful."

Oliver looked at you nervously. "You look good.", he said with a smile.

"I know.", you answered and walked ahead of him into the Great Hall. 

_Fuck. Why do I always do this? What the hell is wrong with me? He was just being nice._

You turned around and looked at Olivers shocked expression, then at Cedric who coughed to cover up a laughter and then at Evelin who gave you the look of "be nice to him!". You sighed and went back to Oliver and placed your arm under his.

"Ready?", you asked but didn't wait for an answer. You didn't want to be here, you wanted to be with Severus. You wanted his hands on your body to travel under your clothes. You wanted to feel his skin against yours. You wanted him to touch you, but not only in a sexual way. Normally you didn't like physical contact, but it was different with him. You didn't think he would be at the Yule ball, but he was. He stood with the other teachers from across the room but he didn't interact with them, instead he searched his eyes after yours, and then he met them. He was wearing a black suit pants and a shirt which made him look very handsome. You wanted him so bad it almost hurt and you had to break the eye contact before you did anything stupid.

"It's time to dance!", you heard McGonagall say.

"May I have the honour?", Oliver asked and bowed.

"Absolutely not.", you crossed your arms.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way.", he sighed and put his arms to his sides.

"Fine.", you said and gave in. You hated dancing, you stepped in the wrong place at the wrong time and you almost fell so Oliver had to grab you so you didn't hit the ground. This happened twice. TWICE.

You looked around and spotted Ron and Hermione dancing a few meters away.

_Good for them._

You also spotted Harry with some girl from Ravenclaw that had a really beautiful dress. You were happy that he at least found a date considering his hopeless crush on Cedric. When the dance was over you and Oliver stepped to the side and he put his hand around your waist. You looked over at Severus who watched you two with rage in his eyes. You knew what he wanted.

"Could you excuse me for a minute, I've got to get something from my dorm.", you said to Oliver.

"No problem. See you soon.", he smiled at you.

You walked out the exit and you could feel Severus presence behind you. You went to an empty classroom and waited a few minutes before he entered with his black hair and long nose. You didn't need to say anything, your bodies was like magnets too each other. 

He eventually pulled away and did something that you did not expect. He took your hair and dragged your head back so you looked right up at him.

"There is something you need to understand, Y/N.", he picked up his wand and flicked it. The door locked.

"What Professor?", you said smirking. He leaned forward to your ear still holding your hair. You could feel the warmth from his breath and he smelled like candles, inc and old paper. 

"That you belong to me.", he said very slowly which made your whole body weak. "Say it."

"I belong to you.", you said with no hesitation and in that moment both you and him knew that he had full control over you.

"Good girl.", he said. You loved when he called you that. Your hand traveled down his hard body. He unbuttoned his pants and you got down on your knees and tied your hair up. You looked up at him and waited for his next order.

"Suck.", he demented and you obeyed. He placed his hand on your head as you pleased him with our mouth. He was a lot bigger than you expected though you couldn't see much since the room was badly lightened. You gaged a few times which you found so embarrassing that you wanted to die but he seemed to actually like it. A few moments later released in your mouth and you swallowed his cum while making eye contact and licked your lips sensually.

"That went a lot quicker then I expected.", you teased and got up. He looked satisfied and bit ashamed at the same time. "I have to get back to Oliver."

"Who gave you the permission to leave?", he said and grabbed you hard by the wrist and pulled you in before you had a chance to reach the door. He placed his hand on your cheek and slowly dragged his thumb over your bottom lip as he looked you deep in the eyes. You nearly forgot how to breathe when he grabbed your face and kissed you yet again. "Now you may go.", he said.

"Thank you, Professor.", you said and gave him a small bow and left with a big grin on your face. You were about to enter the Great Hall as you saw Hermione with tears in her eyes running in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. You decided to follow her to make sure she was okay. She sat on her bed shaking violently from crying when you entered her room. You had no idea how to handle other peoples emotions but you at least always tried.

"Are you okay?", you asked and sat down on the bed with her.

"Do I look like I'm okay?", she said irritated and you got a bit surprised by her anger. 

"What happened?", you decided to ignore her irritation and she told you about how Ron kept on treating her like a last resort and not as an equal. You felt bad for her and didn't know what to say.

"Why don't you just... stop? Like stop trying? Maybe he'll come to you.", you suggested.

"That's not the problem, Y/N. You wouldn't understand."

"Excuse me?", you said.

"Considering that you've completely fallen for a teacher, one can only assume that you don't go for boys your own age.", she said harshly. Your face turned completely red and you got up from the bed.

"How the hell do you know that?!", you bursted out and started to sweat. “Did someone tell you?” 

"It's obvious, Y/N. No one needed to tell me. I don't get it though. He's so... old?", she said and you started to get irritated. This wasn't about you.

"Well...", you had to change the subject "at least I'm not crying over a fucking ginger."

That was a big mistake. She threw you out of the room and you had no clue what to do you found the twins and dragged them towards the Gryffindor common room.

"You need to help me fix this.", you said while going ahead of them.

"In case you haven't noticed, we are usually the ones who break things, Y/N.", George said. 

"Yeah... what is even the problem?", Fred asked. You stopped and turned around and looked at them both.

"A girl is sitting in her room crying because of your _idiot_ brother, and unfortunately, I'm not the best at comforting people.", you started walking again. 

"First of all, it's _our_ idiot brother and second of all, what did you do this time?", Fred asked.

"How am I supposed to know all the right things to say all the time? When I’m sad I want someone to either leave me alone or slap me in the face.", you said to avoid answering the questions and you could see how they exchanged looks.

"Alright... we'll handle this.", George sighed.

"You'll owe us one though.", they said at the same time.

You thanked them and then you remembered Oliver.

_Fuck._

You went back to the Great Hall but you didn't see him. You didn't see Severus either. You just stood there awkwardly looking for him til you figured that he probably left so you decided to just go back to your dorm and go to bed. Evelin was already asleep when you got there and on your bed you spotted a Christmas gift from Molly. You already knew what it was before you had opened it, a green knitted sweater with the first letter of your name on it. You brought the sweater up to your nose and inhaled the scent with a smile on your face. It smelled like the borrow. It smelled like home.


	11. New Year’s Eve

For some reason you woke up very early the next day, 5 in the morning to be exact, and you couldn't go back to sleep so you decided to start your day. You took an extra hot shower, brushed your teeth and did your makeup and went to the Great Hall to get some coffee. You really, really, really didn't want to, but you had made the decision to apologise to Oliver for the night before and you knew for a fact that he probably was at the quidditch field. You grabbed your black coat, but on your boots and went outside. It was incredibly cold and you felt horrible for the poor quidditch players who had to do this.

They just looked like red dots in the sky to you from afar, but the closer you got, the more you saw. It didn't take long for Oliver to see you and when he did he shouted to everyone to take a five minute break. He actually looked quite nice with his messy brown hair and pink cheeks.

"Hey.", you said and smiled very softly at him.

"Y/N.", he nodded and refused to meet your eyes. Damn, he was more hurt that you thought. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to apologise for being a dick, Oliver.", you said but definitely didn't mean it. You would dump him a thousand times over to be with Severus, but of course you'd never tell him that.

"Yeah.", he said and scratched the back of his head "you were kind of a dick, Y/N."

"Probably bigger than yours.", you said but you figured that he didn't find it funny since he didn't laugh. "sorry, not the time." 

He looked up and smiled. "That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Thank you for pointing out that I'm a terrible person." 

"You are very welcome.", he said and then a very uncomfortable silence fell over both of you. "Look... I don't want things to get awkward between us and I know that you don't like me in that way, I just want to let you know that if you ever change your mind I'll be here."

"On the quidditch field?", you said to make the tension less awkward, turned out it had the opposite effect.

"You know what I mean, Y/N.", he took your hand and then almost immediately let go. It was warm. "I'll se you around." He walked away from you and went over to discuss something with a very tired Harry. You felt bad.

It didn't take long before a voice to your right made you jump.

"Told you so.", it was Fred sitting on his broom. "Hand them over."

George threw him a package of chocolate frogs. 

"Did you two just... bet?", you asked.

"Oh, Y/N...", George said with compassion.

"We bet on everything.", Fred said and then they flew away.

~

Evelin took the train home the same day to be with her family for the rest of the holiday so you'd mostly hung out with the twins since you’d decided to stay at the school. You figured that Severus had gone home as well since you hadn't seen him since the Yule ball. The only thing that the twins talked about the whole week before New Years Eve was their fucking fireworks. The only thing they had promised you was that it was going to be nothing but child friendly since Ginny was going to join you.

When the night had come you, Ron, Harry and Ginny stood in the astronomy tower to get a good look at the fireworks. Ginny and Ron was probably the only ones that was exited for it. Suddenly the twins came running up the stairs and yelled at you to be ready which made Ron jump.

"Merlins left shaggy-"

_BOOM_

He got interrupted by a firework that turned into a broom that started flying around on the sky and eventually exploded. It was actually kind of pretty seeing all the colours blend and become something entirely new, or it was til the last firework shot up in the sky and a pair of gigantic breasts appeared. 

"Very mature.", Ginny said sarcastically and looked at them.

Harry looked like he had just seen a dementor and Ron was completely amazed. You quickly covered the boys eyes and the twins started to run. You ran after. 

The rest of the night was fun. You and the twins drank firewiskey at the Gryffindor common room and played games and talked til it was almost morning and an hour before sunrise you stumbled your way to your dorm, sloppily took off your makeup and went straight to bed.

~

You woke up the next day to a horrible headache and no idea of what time it was. Somehow you managed to get up and take a shower before you headed to the Great Hall to get something to eat even if you felt like throwing up. Breakfast was still in the table so it couldn't have been that late. You buried your face in your hands and closed your eyes.

_I'm never drinking again._

"Mornin'.", George sat down next to you. "How are you doing?"

"Spectacular.", you said and gave him a very fake smile. "Where is your brother?"

"The twin or the heartbreaker?", George asked.

"Aren't they both kind of heartbreakers?", you asked and massaged your temples.

"Yeah, I guess they are. Either way both are asleep.", he said and took a blueberry muffin. "What about it?"

"I'm not used to seeing you and Fred apart, that's all.", you said and took a sip of your coffee and it was quiet for a few minutes. 

"Can I ask you something?", George asked.

"No.", you answered. 

"Great, are you seeing someone?" 

You did not expect that question at all and almost choked on your coffee and needed to cough.

_How the hell does everyone know?_

"No! What makes you think that?", you said and needed to cough again.

"Oh, Y/N, you could never hide anything from me and Fred.", he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Fred?! What has he got to do with this?" You stood up in frustration.

"Calm down, sis. We don't have to talk about it.", he smirked. "As long as they make you happy."

You sat down and thought about what he just said. "He does make me happy actually. Confused, yes, but also happy."

Now it was George's turn to choke on his coffee. "It's a _he_?" 

"What about it?" 

"I don't know. Me and Fred thought that you didn't tell us because it was a girl or something. I didn't even think that you liked men at all."

“What made you think that?”, you smiled. 

“Well, you’re always very hateful towards men. Especially if they have feelings for you or something.”, he took a bite out of his blueberry muffin.

"You know that I'm *your preferred sexuality*, right?", you said and took another sip of your coffee.

"Yeah, right.", he said. "So how is he like?"

"He's... different.", you smiled and looked down.

"Look at that! You're blushing!", he teased. “I never thought I would see this, may I take a picture?”

"Shut the fuck up.", you said and gave him the most shivering gaze. 

"I'm not used to seeing you like this.", George said.

"Like what?" You raised your eyebrow.

"Happy.", he smiled at you and you had to blink away the tears that started to form behind your eyelids. 

"Not a fucking _word_ about this to anyone.", you threatened.

"Your secret is safe with me", he was still smiling "no one will ever find out that you have feelings."


	12. Birthday Wishes

The day before school started you'd snuck off to Hogsmeade to do a few errands because you knew for a fact that Severus birthday was on the ninth of January. You hadn't spoken to him since your last "interaction" and you missed him. 

You didn't really know what you wanted to give him so you entered a small shop that sold jewellery. Behind the desk stood a rather large man with a huge beard, long hair and a bunch of tattoos and piercings. He appeared as a bit intimidating on the outside but you quickly noticed that he was as soft as a Pygmy Puff on the inside. 

"Hello, dear!", he greeted you "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here to buy a birthday gift for a... friend, but I'm really horrible at these things.", you said and looked around.

"Oh, don't put yourself down! Can you describe them to me, love?", he gave you a warm smile.

"He's tall and usually dresses in black, he's very smart, and sarcastic, and mysterious and he is a good person but he denies it."

"Young love is adorable.", he sighed and picked up a box that looked very tiny in his big hands. "What do you think about this? I gave my husband a similar ring as a Christmas gift and he loved it!"

It was a simple, thick ring in a darker shade of silver and you really liked it. 

"How do I know that the size is correct?", you asked.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, the ring adjust it's size depending on the user."

You payed for the ring and then you went back to the castle where Evelin had just arrived. You had dinner with each other in the Great Hall and then you pretty much went to bed since you were exhausted because of the lack of sleep you'd been getting.

~

The week passed slowly and today was finally Severus birthday. You still hadn't spoken very much, you had mostly giving each other glances and looks during classes. After dinner that Saturday you snatched a bottle of firewiskey, put on a miniskirt with fishnet tights, a very revealing top with a matching set of underwear before you went down to knock at his door. 

The day before you had made sure to get rid of every inch of bodyhair (Severus would never judge you though, you just felt like doing it) just in case. He actually looked quite surprised to see you when he opened the door. He looked you up and down.

"What are you doing here, miss Y/L/N?", he asked and took a peak out into the corridor. You could hear low music playing from his room.

"I wanted to give you something, may I come in?" You didn't wait for an answer and stepped inside. 

"You have a bad habit of entering places without an invitation, Y/N." He sighed and closed the door but you could tell that he was happy to see you. You sat down on his bed and placed the firewiskey on his nightstand.

"Happy birthday.", you said and gave him the small box that you'd forgotten to wrap. You always forgot to wrap your gifts.

"How did you..?", he looked very confused.

"Did my research.", you said and shrugged. "For Merlins sake, Severus, just open it."

He gave you a suspicious glance and opened the small box and took a long look at the ring inside.

"Do you like it?" You tried to sound unbothered. You failed. 

"I suppose.", he answered and looked at you. "I just have a hard time understanding why."

"Because I like you, Professor.", you said and got up. "Do you have any glasses?" 

He nodded and opened a cabinet beside the fireplace and brought out two glasses. You opened the firewiskey and pored it up and sat down on the couch. 

"That's highly inappropriate, don't you think?" He crossed his arms.

"No.", you said and handed him his glass.

"Only this time, Y/N.", he warned and sat down next to you. His hand was very close to your leg, you could almost feel the heat from his body.

"Try it.", you said, referring to the ring, and took a sip of your firewiskey which had a very strong alcoholic taste with a hint of cinnamon and spice in it. He picked it up from the box and put it on his right ring finger and you took his big hand in yours to "see it better". His hand was cold.

A lock of black hair fell in front of his eyes and you pulled it away which led to a very intense eye contact. It hurt, that's how much you wanted him.

"Thank you.", he said and placed his thumb against your chin and his index and middle finger right under your jawline. He tilted your head slightly upward and smirked. "Your pulse is going very fast, dear. Is something wrong?"

You couldn't speak. All you could think of was how much you wanted him. How much you _needed_ him. He probably read your thoughts but you didn't care. You didn't care at all.

"Tell me what to do.", you whispered.

He let go of your face and leaned back in the couch and was silent for a few seconds.

"Undress."

That was all you needed to hear to get up from the couch, stand in front of him and pull your top off.

"Slowly.", he ordered.

"Yes, Professor.", you obeyed and bend down to slowly pull your tights off and then it was time for your miniskirt. You unbuttoned the buttons one by one and somehow managed to keep your calm and now you only had underwear on. You felt a bit uncomfortable but not because of him, but because you hadn't really shared this type of intimacy with someone before.

"All of it.", he said and looked you deep in the eyes and leaned closer to you. "Unless you can't handle it, of corse."

_Oh he just knows what he's doing._

You smirked at him and rolled your eyes. It was a challenge at this point and you never backed out from a challenge. You unbuttoned your bra and let it drop to the floor to leave your chest completely out in the open but you didn't feel uncomfortable anymore.

"Such a stubborn girl.", he said and leaned back in the couch.

Finally your panties fell to the ground and now you were completely naked. Exposed. He didn't say anything, he just looked at your body up and down and scanned every inch of it with his eyes. There was nothing to hide anymore. After a few minutes he put his empty glass to the side, got up and put his left hand on your waist and his right hand in the back of your head. 

"You're beautiful, Y/N." 

Finally his lips crashed into yours and the whole world started spinning. He lifted you up and put you down on his bed and you wrapped your legs around his waist. Your breathing got heavier as he kissed you down your body, it almost felt electrical. He kissed your neck, your breasts, your belly and inner thighs but before he took further action he stopped and looked up at you.

"Do you want me to continue?", he asked.

"Yes.", you said without hesitation and then he dove right into you with his tongue. You gasped and squeezed his bed frame with your one hand and pulled his hair with the other. Suddenly you could feel one of his fingers going inside you, moving faster and faster and a moan slipped out from your lips. You arched your back and your eyes rolled as you reached an intense orgasm. He slowed down but didn’t fully stop to tease you but eventually he got up from his position, covered your naked body with a blanket and laid down next to you. He seemed very happy with himself.

"Do you want me to..?", you asked but he shook his head.

"Not tonight.", he said and tucked some of your hair behind your ear and for a little while just laid there and studied each other's faces.

“Can I stay with you tonight?”, you asked carefully.

_Please say yes._

“I suppose.”, he said and got up “I’ll be right back.”

He went inside the bathroom and you could hear the sound of the shower running and in the meantime you borrowed one of his black (way too big for you) t-shirts and put your panties on. When he was done showering you went to the steamy bathroom and took your makeup off and brushed your teeth. You used the red toothbrush like last time and noticed that he had marked it with the letter of your first name. You went back to the bed and a few minutes later Severus came and joined you as well. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. You were not used to seeing him in such informal clothing but you really liked him this way, it was more personal.

"You'll stay, right?", you mumbled with your head to his chest. He laid his arm around you and caressed your back. It felt nice.

"Always."


	13. Ugly Truth

You woke up to somebody stroking your arm and you felt goosebumps form all over your body from the chilly morning. The birds crippled outside the window and the sun was rising.

"Y/N?", Severus said. "You need to leave."

"No...", you mumbled and pulled the blanket over your head. "I don't want to."

"I'm afraid that you have no choice.", he sighed "Dumbledore is on his way."

"What?!", your threw yourself out of the bed and put your clothes on and looked at the clock. It was almost 7. "Why didn't you wake me earlier?" 

"I didn't want to.", he said and shrugged. "You looked so peaceful in your slumber, and you had pretty much occupied the bed all night so I thought why not let one of us get some good sleep?"

You rolled your eyes at his passive aggressive sarcasm, you took of your t-shirt and put your bra on but he didn't seem to care at all. He was just happy with complaining about all the annoying things you did in your sleep.

"I apologise, Professor.", you turned around and smiled at him with your big eyes and moved closer and grabbed him by the collar. "But considering last nights activities, you must at least show some understanding."

"You're going to be the death of me." He placed his cold hand to your cheek. You closed your eyes. "But not today, get out."

After he threw you out you walked through the hallway with a big smile on your face thinking about last night. Everyone was pretty much asleep since it was a Sunday so you didn't have to worry about people seeing you, or at least you thought so.

Suddenly two voices appeared from your right and was followed by a bunch of sloppy kissing noises. You were about to sneak off so that they wouldn't see you but then you saw who those voices belonged to; Cedric Diggory and Harry Potter.

You froze and didn't know what to do. They looked happy. Cedric smiled at Harry when they pulled away from their kiss but the smile faded when they heard your voice.

"What. The. Fuck.", you said.

"Shit." Cedric and Harry quickly backed away from each other.

"Y/N, we can explain!", Harry said and looked like he was about to shit himself.

"Oh, I'd _love_ an explanation! Explain to me how _you_ have the _fucking audacity_ to cheat on your girlfriend?", you took a threatening step towards Cedric and he took a step back and then you turned to Harry. "and how _you_ have the audacity to just let him? I know that you and Evelin isn't very close but it's still not fucking acceptable."

"Y/N, _please_ just listen!", Cedric begged. "I was going to tell her, I just didn't know how..."

"So you cheated instead? Way to go, Diggory, way to go!", you gave him an sarcastic applause. "You know what the most annoying part is? It's that I fucking told her that some shit like this would happened with you!"

You seemed to have hit him right on a soft spot but then his face went from hurt to angry very quickly. "You shouldn't be the one to judge considering that you're fucking Professor Sn-" 

You pulled your wand and pressed it to Cedrics throat before he got the chance to finish his sentence. Your clenched your jaw.

"Say one more word, Diggory. I dare you." The rage in your voice made everything feel cold. Tears was burning behind your eyelids.

_That fucking traitor._

"I can't believe she told you.", you said and put your wand down and turned around. "Do what the fuck you want. I don't care anymore."

~

You didn't know where to go or what to do. You felt completely alone. You couldn't speak to Evelin nor go to your dorm since she was there, you couldn't go to Severus, you hadn't spoken to Hermione since the Yule ball and you usually didn't speak to the twins about things like this. 

Finally, you decided that you had to go to your dorm either way to change, you couldn't wander around in these clothes.

You went down to the Slytherin common room and whispered the password "Pure-blood." before you entered. You didn't know what you were going to do, you just knew that you whole body was filled with rage. You opened the door to your room and was ready for the confrontation of a lifetime but Evelin wasn't there. You sat down on the bed and felt completely empty, like you were nothing but a shell. You took a shower and changed your clothes but you didn't feel any better. You just wanted to be with Severus. You wanted him to hug you and stroke your hair.

A couple of hours later the door opened and there she was. Her eyes were puffy and irritated like she had been crying.

"Hey, Y/N.", she mumbled and sat down on her bed "me and Cedric broke up."

You didn't answer. 

"Apparently, he's in love with Harry or something.", she sighed. 

You still didn't answer.

"Is something wrong?", she asked.

"Just shut the fuck up.", you hissed. 

"What the hell happened to you?", Evelin asked offended. 

"You fucking _told_ him! That's what happened!", you said and stood up as her face got completely red. She knew exactly what you were talking about "You are my best friend and you fucking _lied_ to me!"

She was quiet for a few moments. "What was I supposed to do then? You are always so fucking suspicious and closed up, you never share your feelings, we barely fucking _talk_ anymore!", she yelled back at you.

"And who's fault could that be?", you asked sarcastically.

"What the hell do you expect?"

"I expect you to _not_ go to your _fucking boyfriend_ and spill the tea about my private life!" You clenched your fists. "It's none of his fucking business and you are a shitty friend for doing so!"

"Oh so now _I_ am the shitty friend? You knew from the beginning exactly how much Cedric meant to me and you still couldn't bare yourself to be nice to him! Why? Because you're a fucking coward who is scared of feelings!", she yelled "you can't fucking _stand_ the thought of other people living their life and be happy as long as you're not!"

"How can you say that? I warned you about Cedric, I _told you_ that he was bullshit from the start but you never fucking listen to me!", you hissed "I was the one who told you that he would hurt you, not because I didn't want you to be happy, but because I knew that he was a playboy!"

"Well news flash, Y/N, love hurts! It fucking destroys you and there's nothing that you can do about it!" She got up from her bed "But you know what? I'd rather be destroyed then to be a coward like you!"

She stormed out the door and you threw yourself on the bed and just screamed in your pillow. 

_I have to get out of here._

After a few minutes you put on your shoes and went to the wooden bridge. The cold helped your anger cool off a bit so you could think clearly. You picked up your cigarettes and lit one with shaky hands and inhaled deeply.

"You know those things will kill you, sweetheart?", stated Professor Lupin who had appeared to your right.

"That's kind of the point, sir.", you answered.

"Nice, can I have one?", he asked.

_Is this a trap?_

"I won't tell if you won’t.", he said with a wink and you handed him the package. "Thank you, love. Now tell me, why do you have a deathwish such a lovely evening like this?"

"I wouldn't call it lovely.", you said and looked at the embers from the cigarette. "Professor Lupin, why do I always fuck things up? I get so incredibly angry and I say all these things that I don't even mean, and when I try to explain why I get even more angry because I can't fucking understand my own feelings."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, we all fuck things up from time to time, Y/N, especially in the heat of the moment.", he said and took a puff of the cigarette. "But in the end of the day we are all human... for most of the time at least."

_Why is he so nice to me?_

"Why do you have a deathwish this miserable evening, Professor?", you asked and threw away your old cigarette and lit a new. You offered him another one as well and he accepted. 

"Oh, I'm actually celebrating.", Professor Lupin smiled and looked up at the bright half moon. "A friend of mine is coming to visit very soon."

"Is it a special friend?", you wiggled your eyebrows and he laughed. He had a nice laugh.

"You could say so, yeah.", he replied and finished his cigarette.

"Another one?", you asked.

"No thank you, sweetheart. I have somewhere I need to be.", he said and put his hands in his pockets. "And hey, everything will be fine. You're young, you can do whatever you want! That's something that they never tell you til it's too late. I'll see you in class on Monday."

You actually thought about what Professor Lupin said and decided to go back inside since you couldn't feel your feet out in the cold. Maybe he was right, maybe everything was going to be okay?


	14. Fire and Ash

You and Evelin hadn't spoken since yesterday's fight and maybe it was for the better. Maybe you both needed to breathe for a few days til you were ready to talk with each other again.

You sat with the twins in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and Professor Lupin entered. Evelin sat next to some other Slytherin girl with brown hair who you couldn't remember what her name was.

"Class!", he said to get everyone's attention "Today we are going to do something very exiting, but before we start, can someone to tell me what a Dementor is?"

You raised your hand and he looked at you surprised.

"Yes, miss Y/L/N?", he encouraged.

"Dementors are non-being dark creatures, they feed of off human happiness and they can also consume a person's soul.", you said.

"Excellent! And who are they loyal to?"

"They hold no true loyalty to anyone, except to whomever can provide them with the most people to feed off.", you answered. "It's kind of gross actually."

He seemed happy with your answer. 

"Thank you, miss Y/L/N. 5 points to Slytherin! Today we are going to learn how to defend ourselves against a Dementor and I want you to repeat after me: Expecto Patronum!"

"Expecto Patronum!", the class said.

"Brilliant!", he said. "And now, we are going to be in need of a bigger room."

Professor Lupin moved the class to another classroom with a very high roof where they had moved all the furniture away, and to your surprise Severus was also there. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest to the sight of him and you had to fight against the smile that wanted to form on your face.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you!", Professor Lupin said when everyone was inside "Professor Snape volunteered to help me today since the Patronus charm is very difficult. Let's get going shall we!"

Professor Lupin explained how to cast the charm but you could barley focus on what he said with Severus burning eyes on you.

"Perhaps a demonstration is in order? Professor Snape, if you don't mind?", Professor Lupin asked and Severus nodded and went to the middle of the room in front of everyone. 

"Expecto Patronum!", he said with a clear voice and the room filled with a bright light in the form of a doe. The doe ran in circles around Severus and soon it faded and the class gave him a small applause. 

"Just remember, this is a very complicated charm and just a few of you will succeed to cast it today. To be able to do this you have to think of a very happy memory. You need to let the memory fill your whole body up and stay concentrated!", Professor Lupin said loudly. 

You wondered what memory Severus thought about while casting his Patronus. You gave him a glance but he was busy speaking with Professor Lupin. The class started to work with casting their charms and many of your classmates were in big groups trying to cheer each other on. You were one of the few people who felt like they needed to do this alone so you placed yourself in a corner and picked a memory. 

You thought of when you were 13 and heard that there was a family that wanted to take care of you. You tried to cast the charm but nothing happened. You picked another memory; The first time the twins introduced you to their friends as their sister. Nothing. Another memory; Your birthday was celebrated for the first time when you turned 14. It was late summer and Molly had baked you a strawberry cake. Nothing.

You started to get very frustrated. You wandered on and off and tried to think of a happy memory which stressed you out but then you locked eyes with Severus from across the room and the whole world calmed down. He gave you a very soft smile before he looked away to help a student.

 _It's worth a try_ , you thought and closed your eyes and thought of you laying in his arms. "Always", he had promised when you asked him to stay with you.

You could feel it now. You let the memories of him fill you up with a smile on your lips as you with a clear voice casted the charm. 

"Expecto Patronum!", you shouted and through your wand a massive light came out. You didn't see what it was at first, but after a few seconds you saw that your Patronus was a dragon. It flew through the room and everybody looked at it with amazement and the biggest smile lightened up your face. 

"Brilliant!", Professor Lupin cheered "The dragon stands for ambitiousness, bravery and dominance! 5 points to Slytherin!"

After class the twins came up to you.

"I didn't know you had that in you, sis!", George said.

"Yeah, since she's always so fucking gloomy.", Evelin snarked who had picked up the conversation. 

"Oh, give it a fucking break!", you turned around and was about to go over to her but Fred placed his hand on your shoulder and shook his head slowly.

"It's not worth it.", he said and you almost couldn't believe him.

"What?!", you bursted out "You're the one who always encourage me to stand up for myself."

Fred leaned down to your ear "Correct, and I always will but right now Professor Snape is watching you."

You felt your heart skip a beat as he mentioned Severus name but you couldn't show it nor look his way.

You sighed. "You're right."

"Thank you.", Fred said and let go of your shoulder but then Evelins friend with the brown hair said something that made you loose it.

"Bet she's sleeping with the ginger.", she giggled and this time Fred didn't stop you or at least wasn't fast enough to do so. She was standing with her back against you so you went up to her, knocked her on the shoulder and as she turned around you punched her in the face. Her nose started bleeding violently and she fell to the ground but before you had the chance to do anything more strong hands grabbed you by the arms and held you back.

"SAY THAT AGAIN I FUCKING DARE YOU!", you screamed at her. She looked more surprised than scared.

"Shut your mouth, stupid girl!", Severus hissed in you ear.

It was in that moment you realised what you just had done. You had harmed another student, and the punishment for that was expulsion. 

_Fuck._

~

Here you were again: Dumbledores office. Severus had completely ignored you when you tried to talk to him on his way here and now he stood silent behind you.

"Miss, Y/L/N, this is the second time I see you here.", Dumbledore stated and cleared his throat. "You know what the punishment is for harming another student."

You nodded.

"Do you have anything to say in your defense?", he asked.

"I take full responsibility for my actions, but in my defense she said disgusting things that were not only aimed towards me, but towards my family.", you chose your words with care. You scratched your arm and tried to keep your calm even if you felt like throwing up.

"I am aware of what she said to you, but that is no excuse to get violent.", Dumbledore said.

"I know that. But please, don't expel me!", you started begging.

"Give me a reason not to, miss Y/L/N.", he said and tilted his head to the side.

You thought about it for a moment. "I'm a great student, sir, and I'm very sure that every teacher on this school can confirm that. I work very hard and I never give up.", you said and realised that it wasn't enough. You needed to convince him even more. "I have never had a real home except Hogwarts and the Weasleys. I need this education so I can pay them back one day for everything that they have done for me. I don't care if I get detention for the rest of my time here but please, I beg you. Don't expel me."

He was quiet for a few moments. "Dear girl, I was not planning on expelling you today. You broke a students nose, but that wasn't anything Madame Pomfey couldn't fix in no time."

_Thank fucking Merlin._

You almost fainted in relief. "Thank you so much, Headmaster, I swear that I'll do better."

"I sure hope so.", he said. "Your punishment will be three months detention with Professor Snape and 15 points from Slytherin. You're dismissed."

_Shit, that was a close one._

"Severus, if you don't mind following miss Y/L/N back to her dorm?", Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, Headmaster.", he said and grabbed your arm again and exited Dumbledores office. It was past bedtime, so the hallway was empty.

"I can't believe your stupidity.", Severus muttered after a few minutes in silence. You didn't answer, you were way to mad at him. Severus stopped and turned to you and proceeded to take a threatening step towards you. You took a step back and now you stood pressed against the wall. You were trapped and he got closer. "I _specifically_ told you to never let your emotions control you. They make you weak."

"Why the hell didn't you stick up for me back there? I could've gotten fucking expelled!", you hissed.

"You put yourself in that situation and mind your language. I am still your teacher.", he scolded.

"Oh, I apologise, _Professor_.", you said sarcastically.

"Watch. It.", he said slowly and grabbed your face. It almost hurt. You hated him so much in that moment but you hated yourself even more for still wanting him. He let go of your face and grabbed your arm instead and started walking.

"Don't fucking touch me!" You tried to yank yourself out of his grip but he was stronger than you. "Let me go!"

"Shut your mouth, or else I will make you.", his calm rage almost made you scared. "That's what I thought." 

Neither of you said a word to each other after he had dropped you off. This might have been the worst week of your life. Evelin sat on her bed sketching in her drawing pad when you entered.

_I cant fucking deal with her right now._

You went to the bathroom and brushed your teeth and took off your makeup. After that you crawled into your sheets and closed your eyes.

"You didn't get expelled, did you?", Evelin asked. She was trying to sound unbothered but a slight shake in her voice gave her away.

"Bet you'd love that.", you mumbled.

"That was a pretty fucking stupid thing to do.", she said referring to punching the brunette in her face.

"She deserved it.", you answered.

"Yeah.", Evelin agreed. "She did."

"Why are you even talking to me?", you asked and looked up at her. "We're ignoring each other, remember?"

"Can you honestly remember what we're even fighting about?", she asked.

"Yeah.", you replied. "You being a lying traitor."

"Okay now you're just acting like a child.", she said and rolled her eyes. "I'm tired of this. You're my friend and I'm sick of pretending you're not."

"Me too.", you admitted and realised that you didn't want to fight with her anymore. "You were right. I am scared of feeling. I'm fucking terrified of it, but I'm trying to be more open. I'm sorry for being such a dickhead, Evelin."

Usually you were never the first to apologise to people and you could tell that she was slightly shocked.

"You were right, Y/N, I shouldn't have told Cedric about something that you said to me in confidence. I'm so sorry for breaking your trust.", she apologised, and in that moment it felt like everything was going to be okay.


	15. Aftermath

"I'm so fucked.", you said and buried your face in your hands. "This is it. I'm screwed."

"I am incredibly sorry, sis.", Fred said laughing.

"Why the fuck are you laughing then? I'm about to fucking _die_!"

"It's actually a miracle that you haven't gotten one yet.", George petted you on the back "Gotta be a first time for everything!"

You looked at the red envelope in your hand. You had never received a Howler before, but you'd heard that it was terrible and of top of that was it from Molly Weasley which just made everything worse. You took a deep breath and ripped the letter open.

"Y/N Y/L/N! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA OF HOW BAD YOU HAVE MISBEHAVED? TURNING OTHER STUDENTS INTO ANIMALS? GETTING PHYSICAL WITH THAT POOR GIRL? WE EXPECT BETTER FROM OUR DAUGHTER AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER OUR ROOF!!!"

The letter burned itself up as George and Fred was dying from laughter and everyone around the dinner table started applauding. 

"It's. Not. Funny.", you muttered.

"No, absolutely not.", Fred said and tried to make a serious face which was a complete failure. You turned to Evelin but she was laughing just as much as the twins, if not even more. 

"You are all a bunch of idiots.", you said irritated even though you also found it a bit funny. It had been a week and a half since you "got physical" with that "poor girl" and things had gotten both better and worse. You were friends with Evelin again which felt good, but ever since that night Severus had barley talked to you. You figured that he was mad at you for acting stupid which was fair, but it still hurt.

"I have to go.", you said and got up from the dining table.

"Do you think you'll make it to the party?", Evelin asked slightly worried. The twins and her had been planning to throw Ron a birthday surprise party in the Gryffindor common room later the same evening.

"I hope so, but since I have detention with lovely Professor Snape I have to say maybe.", you rolled your eyes, got up from the table and was on your way to his office and (of course) bumped right into someone. You fell backwards and landed on your side. Normally you would've gotten up and yelled the person in the face but then you looked up and saw who it was.

_Fuck._

Severus rolled his eyes and, to your surprise, handed you an arm and helped you up. This was the first time he had touched you since he basically dragged you to your dorm last week. 

"Miss Y/L/N, of course it's you.", he stated.

"My apologies, _sir_.", you mumbled and brushed off some invisible dirt off your clothes to avoid eye contact.

"Watch your tone.", he said and walked away. You couldn't even look at him, his coldness hurt way too much.

About 20 minutes later you walked down the stairs to the dungeons and knocked at the his office door, and when he opened you'd never wanted to cry so much in your entire life. He didn't say anything, he just stepped aside and let you in. The sadness turned into anger which crawled under your skin as you entered.

"I need you to clear the shelf off and throw away everything that's old and replace it with new.", he ordered coldly and sat down at the desk and started correcting student papers. You kept quiet and did as you were told even though all you wanted to do was scream.

You walked into the potions storage and stepped up on the ladder. You started clearing off the top shelf but your hands was shaking so violently that you dropped one of the glass bottles and in your brave attempt to save it you fell as well and your body crashed into the stone cold floor.

"Fuck!", you groaned and tried to get up which was an embarrassing failure.

"What have you done this time, stupid girl?", Severus had stormed inside the storage.

"I fell."

"Obviously.", he rolled his eyes but you could see that he was genuinely worried. He squatted down in front of you and studied your face. "You're bleeding."

"Where?!", you immediately brought your hand to your face and could feel something warm and wet on cheekbone followed by a sting of pain.

"Don't touch it, Y/N", he sighed "you're only making it worse. Wait here."

He got up and came back with a damp towel and wiped off the blood. It reminded you of the time when Malfoy had beaten you up and Severus took care of you. You wanted Severus to touch you like that again. He raised his wand and mumbled the spell "episkey" and the cut on your face healed and the stinging disappeared.

_Fuck._

"Are you still in pain?", Severus asked and tilted his head to the side.

"Only on the inside, sir.", you said sarcastically even though it was true. You didn't mind getting a small injure as long as he was touching you. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?", Severus raised an eyebrow and looked you in the eyes.

_It's rude reading other peoples thoughts without permission, Severus._

He smirked slightly and got up. You felt the irritation bloss up inside of you yet again. You clenched your fists and followed him out of the storage.

"You can do the rest on Monday.", he said without even looking at you.

"Okay, Professor.", you said and left but as soon as the door closed to his office you ran to the girls bathroom and started bawling your eyes out. After about ten minutes of sobbing and crying you got out of the booth and went to the sinks and stared yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were irritated and puffy and your cheeks were rosy.

"Pathetic.", you hissed to yourself in the mirror "Stop being such a whiny little bitch and suck it up!"

You splashed some water in your face and dried it off with a towel and stared yourself in the mirror yet again. "Suck it up."

You took a deep breath and was planning on heading towards your room and get some sleep, but then you remembered that it was Ron's birthday. 

"Fuck...", you sighed. You really didn't feel like going but it was his birthday party and you couldn't miss that. You went up to your room, changed your clothes and put on some makeup before you went down to the Gryffindor common room. The music was blasting in there and everyone was either dancing, playing games or drinking. It was nice, but you weren’t in the mood.

"You came!", a familiar voice said from behind you and you realised that you couldn't escape now when you had been seen. You tuned around and there stood Oliver Wood with a purple plastic glass in his hand.

_No, not him._

"The others weren't sure if you were going to make it.", he said and smiled. You could barley hear him over the loud music.

"Yeah.", you said and looked around. You really needed something strong to drink especially if you had to be stuck with him. "Do you have any alcohol?" 

"Yeah, follow me!", Oliver took your hand and went ahead of you through the crowd. You couldn't possibly understand how all these people could fit in this small space. He handed you an unopened bottle of firewiskey and you opened it and chugged straight from the bottle. Your throat burned from the strong drink.

"Hey! Calm down!", Oliver laughed and you gave him the fakest smile and put the bottle down. Shortly after the twins invited you both to a game of truth or dare and you accepted. The people that were playing was the twins, Lee Jordan, Hermione, you, Oliver, Ron and some other people that you didn't know. Fred put his wand in the middle of the ring and spun it.

"Truth or dare, brother?", Fred asked George when the wand landed on him.

"Dare.", George smirked and Fred was quiet for a few moments to think of a good dare.

"Imitate one of the players, and it can't be me."

George laughed and got up and immediately crossed his arms and walked on and off.

"Fred, stop being such an idiot and buckle up. Win this game or die trying or I’ll literally kill myself!", George said and the preceded to lay out a very specific Quidditch strategy. It was obvious who he was trying to sound like and Oliver was not very impressed. The wand spun again landed on one of the Gryffindor boys that you didn't know.

"Truth or dare, Dean?", Fred asked.

"Truth.", the he responded. Fred asked a question that you didn't pay attention to and everyone started laughing except for you. You didn't want to be here. The wand spun and it landed on Oliver.

"Truth or dare?", Dean asked. 

"Dare"

"Kiss someone.", Dean winked and Oliver turned to you.

_Fuck my life, fuck it hard!_

"If you're not okay with it, we don’t have to.", Oliver said in your ear.

"It's a dare isn't it?", you sighed and he leaned in and kissed you. He was a very soft kisser, not like Severus who was more determined. Eventually he pulled away and smiled at you but you needed to smoke so you got up and went outside. 

The alcohol had gotten straight to your head and you felt dizzy as you stood on the stone balcony. You lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply and suddenly you felt a hand around your waist. It was Oliver. You turned to him and he tucked a strand of black hair behind your ear, leaned in and kissed you. You don't know why you did it, but you kissed him back. You closed your eyes and pretended that it was Severus as he placed his hand on your cheek. He kissed you deeper and you wrapped your arms around his neck but then you quickly pulled away.

"What the fuck am I doing?", you said more to yourself than to him.

"Is something wrong?", Oliver asked with a worried expression on his face. 

"I'm sorry, Oliver.", you said and backed a few steps away from him. "I need to go."

"Y/N wait-"

You interrupted him by basically running out from the party. You didn't want Oliver, you wanted Severus and you were a bit too drunk to think reasonable and just went straight down to the dungeons and knocked on his door. He opened and for a moment you just stood there and looked at each other in silence. You took a step forward, grabbed his collar and kissed him and he placed his hand on the back of your head and kissed you back. It felt good, but more important it felt right. You backed into his small room as he flicked his wand and the door shut close and locked. 

"What a pleasant surprise.", he smirked when you pulled away. "Are you drunk, dear?"

"No.", you lied and smiled at him. Everything was still dizzy but in a good way.

"Lets sleep it off, shall we?.", he sighed and grabbed your waist, led you to his bed and laid you down. It was a fire going in the fireplace which gave the room a warm, comfortable light.

"Will you be mad at me tomorrow?", you mumbled as he took off your shoes.

"No.", he answered and looked away as he pulled your shirt off.

"You don't have to be such a gentleman, Severus.", you giggled "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

He just rolled his eyes and handed you one of his t-shirts. After he had helped you undress, you crawled under his warm sheets and closed your eyes. They smelled just like him.

"I'm sorry, Severus.", you mumbled and looked at him. He sat down next to you and placed his cold hand on your cheek. It felt nice.

"You have been acting foolish, Y/N.", he said and tilted his head to the side. You just laid there for a while and let him stroke your cheek with his thumb.

"I know...", your eyelids were heavy. "Severus?"

"Yes?", he responded.

"I have missed you.", you said and looked him in the eyes. It hurt, that's how much you wanted him but you knew that he would never do anything with you as long as you were under the influence. He was way more of a gentleman than you would think.

"You have?", he asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes.", you said and a warm tear dropped from your eye.

"Why are you crying, dear?", he asked.

"Because I'm scared.", you whispered "I'm scared of feelings like these and I’m not used to it. It's easier just to be angry."

He didn't respond. He just laid down next to you and held you in his arms and gave you a kiss on the head. It wasn't like him to show this much affection... or any affection at all.

"You smell good.", you mumbled and then everything went black.


	16. Naughty Girl

You woke up with a strange feeling of deja vu. You were in Severus room but he wasn't around. You got up and went into the small bathroom and brushed your teeth and in the mirror you met a pair of very tired eyes. Afterwards you found his towels and got into the shower and inside the very small space you spotted a soap with a shampoo and conditioner. The steaming hot water helped you clear your mind and the memories from yesterday filled you up with shame.

_Fuck shit fuck what was I thinking?_

You turned the water off and wrapped the towel around your naked body and sat down on the floor. You had brought your knees up to your chest and your fingers massaged your temples when you heard the noise of a doorslam.

_Fuck._

"Y/N?", Severus knocked on the door, opened it and gave you a puzzled look. "Why are you on the floor?"

"I borrowed your shower.", you said smiling and he gave you his hand and helped you up. The towel slipped down a bit and you quickly let go of his hand to save the towel from exposing your naked body. You glanced at Severus who looked away but was clearly trying to hold in a smile. 

"Look... about last night...", you started but he hushed you, grabbed your chin and stroked your lip with his thumb with a slight smirk on his face. You almost forgot how to breathe as you met his dark eyes. You had never seen this look in his face before, it was filled with lust. You removed your hand from the towel and let if fall down to the floor and that was when he lost it. He started kissing you deeply as you moved from the bathroom to his bedroom. He unbuttoned his robes and let it fall to the ground, you took of his belt and he unzipped his pants.

"Such I filthy ting to want from a girl like you.", he mumbled in your ear and your body responded by the touch of his hand travel down your belly and in between your legs. "Will you be a good girl for me?"

You bit your lip and nodded as his middle finger started going in circles around your clitoris. 

"Use your words, brat.", he said and grabbed your face with his other hand.

"Y-yes, Professor.", you said with a shaky voice.

"Get on the bed.", he ordered and you immediately did as you were told. You laid down on your back and he got on top of you and kissed you from your neck to your inner thighs til he reached your bits and started pleasing you with his tongue. Just after a minute you felt the heat build up inside of you and your breathing got heavier.

"I'm almost there.", you moaned softly but as you were about to reach your climax he stopped. You looked down at him with disappointment.

"Not without my permission, love.", he said with a smirk. You sighed and rolled your eyes but then he dove right back into you which made you gasp and grab his hair.

"Y-yes, s-sir.", you stuttered and your arched your back and was almost reaching your climax again but then he stopped. You sighed in irritation. He just kept going on and off til you couldn't take it anymore.

"Please!", you begged. He got on top of you and wrapped his hand around your throat. You felt very small and submissive under him.

"Please what?", Severus asked calmly.

"Please, Professor. I want to-", you didn't get to finish your sentence as he suddenly shoved his penis deep inside of you. You gasped and grabbed the bed frame. You almost couldn't process it. "Fuck!", you slipped out and your hand flew up to cover your mouth.

"You need to learn how to obey me, Y/N", he stated politely. "Now, what were you saying?"

You slipped out a moan and made intense eye contact with the dark haired man above you. "I want you to fuck me, Professor.", you looked at him with big eyes.

"You're a brat, Y/N.", he said and started thrusting in and out of you as he groaned in your ear. At first it went slowly, but then he moved faster and faster and at the same time he ran circles around your clitoris with his thumb. You were about to explode and he could feel it. 

"I want you to cum for me, dear.", he said slowly in your ear and you did as you were told. Your back arched and your legs started shaking as you reached the longed for orgasm. He continued to thrust in and out of you for a couple of more seconds before he pulled out and let his warm cum spout over your naked body.

You both needed to lay down and catch your breath after that. You didn't say anything. You didn't need to. After a few minutes you got up and went into the shower to clean yourself off and shortly after Severus came and joined you. Believe it or not, he actually had a great body under all the layers and layers of black clothing. You couldn't help but smile and he smiled back. He had a nice smile. 

You put your arms around his neck and kissed his lips and before you could think you were up for round two. He carried you up and pinned you against the wall and you wrapped your legs around his waist. The water was dripping down from both of you which made everything hot and steamy. He put his member inside of you and held you by the hips and you bit your lip in an attempt to suppress your loud moans but it failed. Severus took his right hand and grabbed your hair and pulled it backwards so that you had to make direct eye contact with him. He then let go of your hair and moved his hand to your lips and placed his thumb over them.

"Open your mouth.", he ordered and you did as you were told and he put his tumb inside and you started sucking it. "Such a naughty girl."

He went faster and faster til he threw his head back and groaned as he reached his climax. Semen was dripping down your legs when he pulled out and you were about to say something to him when he put you down but he interrupted you by pushing you back to the wall. "I'm not done with you yet.", he growled and started pleasing your clitoris with his fingers. You gasped and grabbed his arm.

"Are you okay, dear?", Severus smirked and looked you in the eyes. He liked to tease you like this since he knew that you'd lost your ability to speak. 

_I'm getting close_ , you thought instead.

"Not without my permission, remember?", he loved seeing you begging for release.

"P-please...", you moaned.

"Not. Yet.", he said and wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed which just turned you on even more.

_I cant hold it in anymore._

"You belong to me, Y/N. Say it.", Severus ordered.

_I can't._

"Say. It.", he repeated slowly.

"I-I be-belong t-to y-you.", you stuttered.

"Good girl.", he smirked. "Now cum for me."

The second orgasm of the night was if possible even more intense than the first one. Your breathing got uncontrollably heavy, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your toes curled in pleasure. After that you expected his movements to stop or at least slow down but you were very wrong. He kept going and it was getting too much.

"P-please.", you whispered.

"You wanted this.", he said slowly and looked you with dominance. You tried pulling his arm away but he was at least twice as strong as you so there was nothing you could do. He grabbed both wrists and pressed them against the wall over your head with his free hand and kept on pleasing you with the other. You gasped as he slowly pressed his middle finger inside of you and pumped in and out for a few seconds before he added his index finger. 

"Fuck!", you moaned and Severus eye contact was enough for you to reach another orgasm. "S-Severus I-I am-"

"Shhh, I know.", he hushed. "Cum for me." 

~

You laid in his bed with his right arm around your neck, behind your back and his left arm rubbing your leg that was pulled up to his chest. Your hair was wet from the shower and Severus had borrowed you a new set of clothes. He literally had to carry you out of the bathroom since you couldn't walk straight which was a little embarrassing but he seemed very happy with himself. You still hadn't fully processed what just had happened but you were glad it did.

"Had you ever... done that before?", Severus mumbled against your head. You liked this softer side of him. It was somewhat innocent, like he didn't really know how to act and what to do.

"Yes, but not even close to this.", you answered sleepy. 

"Like what?", he asked.

"I didn't even know that I could feel this way. No one has ever made me finish before.", you smiled and looked up at him. He had a very pleased expression on his face. "Don't let that go straight to your head." You rolled your eyes.

"No need to worry.", he said with a tone that emptied the very opposite. You could hear his heartbeat with your head against his chest and you thought of all the times you'd heard that he was stone cold and heartless.

 _Apparently not_ , you thought and smiled.

"I know that you have been mad at me.", you stated. "You've been avoiding me."

"I haven't been-"

"Yes, you have.", you interrupted. "Why?"

"You have a bad habit of interrupting me, Y/N.", he sighed "Because I wanted to teach you a lesson, I suppose. You need to understand that your actions have consequences."

If anyone else had said the same thing you probably would've got up and left, but you didn't want to leave, even if you strongly disagreed with him. "Fair enough.", you said and decided to let it go.

"I meant it by the way.", you mumbled and stroke his chest. You wasn't used to being this affectionate with someone either. Normally you absolutely hated skin to skin contact but there was something about him that you always craved.

"You meant what, exactly?", he asked.

"I meant every word I said last night. I'll admit I didn't want it to come out in that way, but I meant it."

He didn't answer but you didn't feel hurt about it.

"I don't expect anything back from you, just wanted to let you know.", you said and he pulled you in a bit closer. You took that as a thank you.


	17. Holiday

You hugged Molly tightly when you arrived to the burrow. Two weeks you'd be spending there due to the Easter Holiday and you couldn't possibly be more happy about it. The twins threw their shoes off and went straight to the fridge and then they sat down at the kitchen table.

"Feet off the table!", Arthur shouted at them.

"Feet off the table!", they repeated but didn't do as they were told at all. Ginny ran to her room and Harry, Hermione and Ron sat down on the couch and initiated a very loud discussion about something that you didn’t pay attention to. It felt good being home though you missed Severus already. He was getting so addictive it almost scared you and you constantly had to remind yourself to not constantly replay your interactions with him in your mind to not go crazy. It didn’t work very well.

"Do you want a cup of tea, yes?", Molly asked and petted you on the back. 

"Yes, please.", you answered and you two went out and sat down at the outdoor table. You closed your eyes and let the April sun warm your face up. It was nice but the anxiety was still crawling under your skin. You knew that it was irrational but you were so scared that they didn't want you anymore after being so messy for the past few months.

"Are you okay, dear?", Molly asked and took a sip out of her tea. "You seem worried about something."

"I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass, Molly.", you said to her. "I don't know why I do the stupid shit I do, it just happens."

"Oh, don't talk about yourself like that, dear.", Molly smiled at you. "And mind your language."

"Sorry.", you apologised.

"I'm not angry with you, Y/N, just worried.", Molly said and stroke your cheek with her thumb.

"So you won't... kick me out?", you asked and looked down at your hands.

"Of course not, darling! You're my daughter! Come on, dinner is ready and we have some good news to share.", she gave your shoulder a squeeze and went ahead of you inside and you felt like you could finally breathe again. You entered the kitchen where the table was set and filled with food, you took a seat next to George and you started your dinner. It was never quiet in the burrow, especially not during dinner time, there was always loud conversations and laughter but in the middle of everything Arthur interrupted by standing up. 

"We have some news.", Arthur said with a clear voice to get everyones attention and gave you a big smile.

"Not another brother I hope.", Ginny muttered and you could barley hold in your laughter.

"Actually.", Molly said and stood up. "It's about Y/N."

Everyone turned their heads and looked at you and you felt your heart drop as Arthur handed you a letter as his smile grew even wider. The letter had already been opened so you picked up the envelope inside and only needed to read one sentence before you bursted out crying. You buried your face in your hands.

"What's wrong?", George asked and you gave him the thick paper. "Can I read out loud?"

You nodded.

"The Ministry of Magic approves and allow the adoption of Y/N Y/L/N to Arthur and Molly Weasley. Y/N Y/L/N is hereby Mr and Mrs Weasleys legal daughter." 

You couldn't stop sobbing but you didn't care anymore. You had waited for this moment for so long. George turned to you, hugged you tightly and stroke your back as his shirt got wet from your salty tears.

"Let's hope these tears are from joy and not from regret.", Fred said with a big grin on his face.

"Oh, shut up!", you laughed through your tears and everyone started laughing with you. George let you go and Molly replaced him.

"We are aware of that you turn 17 in a couple of months, Y/N, which means that you're almost an adult but we have waited for this since we saw you for the first time.", Molly said and cupped your face in her hands and dried your tears. It was like all the worry and anxiety had lifted from your shoulders and you felt nothing but relief.

"Thank you.", was all you could say. "Thank you for everything."

~

"I have never seen you cry before.", Ron said after dinner. "Not even you broke your leg, you just yelled at the broom for letting you fall off."

"Shut up.", you said but you couldn't stop smiling. You had a family. An _actual_ family. You were no longer a guest in their house and you finally felt like you truly belonged there with them.

"I haven't seen you smile this much either.", Ron said and looked at you with fascination. You took the newspaper that was laying on the table and slapped him with it. It was just you and Ron in the kitchen since everyone had pretty much gone to bed.

"Can I ask you something?", you said.

"You just did.", he responded.

"Is everything alright between you and Hermione?", you asked and completely ignored his annoying comment.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know exactly what I mean.", you stated and snatched the packed of chocolate frogs out of his hand.

"Hey!", he shouted and tried to get them back but failed.

"Answer me first.", you said and held it as far away from him as possible.

"We're fine.", he groaned and tried to take the chocolate frogs out of your hand but failed yet again. Finally he gave up. "She was pretty angry with me... I think."

"Why?", you asked even though you knew why. 

"I don't know! Maybe because I was-"

"A dickhead.", you interrupted and gave him his longed for chocolate frogs back. "Treat her badly again, and I'll make sure that's the last thing you do."

"You can actually be terrifying sometimes, Y/N.", he mumbled and shook his head.

"Whatever.", you rolled your eyes "I'm going to bed. Goodnight, fuckface." You walked upstairs to your small room.

"Goodnight, my dearest sister!", Ron called and you rolled your eyes. You sat down on your bed and then you came up with a very great idea for celebrating your adoption. You went on top of your bed and tilted the painting that hung right above it slightly forward and a small wooden box fell out from behind it. You flipped the little hook and opened it up and inside there was a plastic bag of marijuana, some paper, a lighter and a rolled joint. 

"What do you have there, sis?" The sudden voice made you jump and quickly close the box and you turned around and saw Fred leaning against the door.

"Fuck sake, Fred! You scared the living shit out of me!", you whisper-yelled and pressed your hand against your beating chest.

"Were you planning on sharing that?", he smirked and sat down next to you.

"No, I was actually going to enjoy it by myself, but since you're here I probably have no choice but to share.", you sighed.

"Wicked!", he said and wiggled his eyebrows. "Let's go."

He grabbed your arm and you successfully snuck out of the burrow and walked a couple of minutes into the forest to make sure to not get busted. You then found a good three with a thick branch and climbed up and sat down. 

"No one can see us right?", you asked Fred and he shook his head.

"Why are you always so paranoid?", he wondered.

"Always pick the certain before the uncertain, Freddie.", you responded and lit the joint. You inhaled deeply and the thick smoke made you cough like a maniac. 

"Aren't you the one who smokes like a pack a day?", Fred laughed.

"Probably.", you coughed and passed him the joint and he started coughing as well after inhaling.

"That's strong shit Y/N!", his face got red and he had tears in his eyes.

"Very.", you agreed and took another puff. This time you didn't cough. "Is George asleep?"

"Yeah.", he replied and took a puff and studied the embers of the joint. "May I ask you something?"

"Depends.", you suspiciously responded.

"Why don't you just go out with Oliver?", Fred asked and handed you the joint.

"Because I don't want to.", you said and looked down at your hands.

"Because you're seeing someone else?", he raised and eyebrow and you were about to deny it completely but then figured that it probably wouldn't do any good.

"Did George tell you?", you asked and looked away.

"Yeah.", he responded. "Be honest, is it a girl? George wouldn't tell."

"No, it's a man.", you said and smiled to the thought of Severus. It was hard for you to not want to talk about someone that you liked so much, but you knew that you couldn't.

"Can you tell me who he is?", he said and looked at you with big eyes.

"In your dreams, Weasley.", you responded and rolled your eyes.

"Fine.", he sighed. "As long as he treats you right, because I have a shovel and a very good spot to bury a body."

"Thank you, Freddie. I appreciate that but it won't be necessary.", you reassured and felt oddly protected. He really was your big brother.

"Just letting you know, little sis.", he smiled at you.

The same second you could feel the affects of the joint and by the look of it Fred did too. Your back started tingling and you felt that warm, relaxed feeling in your entire body. You and him stayed up until sunrise and just talked about solving every aspect of every problem that existed in the world. You laughed more that night than you had done in a very long time. Sneaking back into the burrow was just as easy as sneaking out and you crawled into your warm sheets and closed your eyes with a smile. It felt good being home.

The rest of your holiday you didn't do very much, you mostly just enjoyed the warmth of the burrow and sleeping in til 11. It was nice having many people around, but it honestly got a bit too much from time to time so you usually took long walks in the forest to be by yourself. You always forgot how much you loved the woods where you could just be alone and get your thoughts sorted out to the sound of the birds chirping. It had a very calming effect on you and you always were in a good mood when you joined the others again. The Twins and Harry tried to learn you how to play Quidditch which was a terrible failure since you were horrible at flying the broom and if you wanted to learn something, you always wanted to be the best at it. You celebrated the twins birthday with cake and some fireworks but you knew that when school started again they had something much bigger in mind...


End file.
